Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Storyline

Optimizing Hit Songs

Hancock Records invents Mega-Tune, which cuts any song to one note and one word so the label can stop paying songwriters.

31 stripsFrom the beginning Most popular

#284. Disrupting the status quo

September 23, 2009

BART: Joel, the economic situation demands we disrupt the status quo here at Hancock Records...
JOEL: Yes?

BART: We've got to ALTER the way we do business! REINVENT ourselves!
JOEL: Yes!

BART: We've got to embrace RADICAL CHANGE, Joel!
JOEL: Yes! YES!

BART: We've got to find ways to SCREW our artists more than we ever thought possible!
JOEL: (thinking) SO close...

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#288. Less is more

October 12, 2009

BART: Meet Kurt von Einfache, one of our engineering geniuses. He's big into MINIMALISM.
JOEL: Like... "less is more"?

KURT: Ja. "LESS."
BART: See? He's a MASTER. He said what you said. But in fewer words.

JOEL: That why you wear the one-piece jumpsuit? Fewer pieces of clothing?

KURT: Oh, no no, dis just a great look...
BART: It IS very form-fitting...

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#289. Kurt’s office

October 13, 2009

KURT: Velcome to simplified office. Metal bar to sit, glass computer suspendink in air. Nothing else needed. Guests sit on bar with me, here.
JOEL: OK.

KURT: This is awkward. Guest policy not well thought-out.
JOEL: Yes, maybe not.

A pause.

KURT: I don't get many guests.
JOEL: Oh no?

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#290. Working on Auto-Tune

October 14, 2009

BART: Kurt and his engineers have been working on Auto-Tune.
KURT: I hate Auto-Tune.
JOEL: Me too!

KURT: Auto-Tune DESTROYS music...
BART: Yes.
JOEL: Yes!

KURT: It allows for TOO MUCH VARIABILITY!
BART: Yes!
JOEL: Wait-

KURT: My goal is to make music more homogeneous than Auto-Tune ever could!
BART: YES!!
JOEL: Damn it...

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#291. Auto-Tune everything

October 15, 2009

KURT: People LOF Auto-Tune, ja? Dey Auto-Tune T-PAIN... dey Auto-Tune de NEWS... dey Auto-Tune EFERYTINK...

KURT: So I began Auto-Tuning AUTO-TUNE. Den I Auto-Tune Auto-Tuned AUTO-TUNES. I vant to make songs SIMPLER, more PURE, more PERFECT.

JOEL: You want to make songs LIFELESS and COLD and- and UNFEELING!
KURT: JA! EXACTLY!

KURT: VOW, OK... so glad ve see eye-to-EYE on dis...
JOEL: A piece of my soul just died, sir.
BART: Yeah. That'll happen.

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