Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Bart the evil executive

Bart runs Hancock Records, Jumpstart Malady’s label. He wants total media saturation, cloned bands, and music without musicians.

40 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #335. Unknown talent

January 12, 2010

BART: Joel, I need you to go to a club tonight and sign a new singer. That SHIRTLESS actor from TWILIGHT. He'll be at the Three of Cups.

BART: You'll present him with a CONTRACT, take some PUBLICITY shots, give out some T-SHIRTS… His people have the details.

JOEL: Sir, I thought my job as an A&R rep was to find new UNKNOWN talent.
BART: Oh... NO. HEAVENS no, Joel. No no no… GOD, no.

BART: I'm very sorry for the misunderstanding. Now, do you know how to work the t-shirt gun?
JOEL: (sigh) Yes, sir.

2 views Like

Popularity rank 2 #332. El De Barge

January 4, 2010

BART: Joel, do we own El De Barge?
JOEL: I'll look him up, sir, but just to pick a nit, we don't actually OWN any of our artists.

JOEL: We own their MUSIC, their RECORDINGS, but we don't-

JOEL: Well, now, I apologize.

JOEL: It seems we do, in fact, OWN El De Barge.
BART: Wonderful! I need him to do "Who's Johnny" tomorrow on a boat in Dover…

2 views Like

Popularity rank 3 #369. Signing Shukri

April 26, 2010

BART: Joel, now that this Twilight kid's single hit number one, I'd like you to sign his new girlfriend, Shukri.

JOEL: Does... (sigh) Does she have any musical talent?
BART: No, but she's got a great story!

BART: She's an African orphan, adopted and brought to America by popstar Kevin Edo, who she then dated. She's got buzz and major star power.

SHUKRI: And I have an amazing rack.
JOEL: I thought she was dating Robert Pattinson?
BART: She was. From 2pm to 2:30. It's over.
AYOK: Sxbl.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 4 #317. The dream is dead

November 30, 2009

BART: The dream of beautiful one-note Mega-Tuned music has died, Joel. Back to STUPID, complicated multi-note songs, with their STUPID "melodies" and "harmonies"... Ugh...

MUSIC: JUMP!

JOEL: Playing one last Mega-Tuned song for good measure, sir?
BART: Oh, no no...

BART: No, I just looooooove love love those Pointer Sisters, Joel.
BART: For my love! JUMP IN!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 5 #299. Getting focus groupers

October 30, 2009

JOEL: I've never run a focus group, sir. How do we get participants?
BART: The American way, Joel. With market forces.

BART: We bribe them. Vouchers, gift certificates, free food...
JOEL: Doesn't that result in overly positive opinions?

BART: Exactly!
GREG: Hi, I heard something about a Frostie coupon?

BART: Yes sir! Just sign this release form without reading it.
GREG: No PROBLEM. Oooo, free pens!!

1 view Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 comics: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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