Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Storyline

Optimizing Hit Songs

Hancock Records invents Mega-Tune, which cuts any song to one note and one word so the label can stop paying songwriters.

31 stripsFrom the beginning Most popular

#297. Memorable

October 28, 2009

JOEL: Well, sir, screwing songwriters aside... if we reduce songs to a single word and note, won't consumers... not... like that?

BART: On the contrary, studies show consumers favor songs with simple, memorable melodies and lyrics.

MEGA-TUNE: FELLATIO!

BART: And you can't get simpler or more memorable than that, Joel!
KURT: Dat vas Little Vayne. "Lollipop".

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#298. Statistics and quotes

October 29, 2009

JOEL: With all due respect, sir, I don't think you've thought this through.
BART: Sure I have!

BART: I've got statistics! I've got quotes!
JOEL: Unrelated statistics and quotes that you've skewed to support your point.

BART: Well, maybe you're right. Let's focus group it. Get some outside opinions.
JOEL: Yes.

BART: And skew THOSE to support our point.
JOEL: No.

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#299. Getting focus groupers

October 30, 2009

JOEL: I've never run a focus group, sir. How do we get participants?
BART: The American way, Joel. With market forces.

BART: We bribe them. Vouchers, gift certificates, free food...
JOEL: Doesn't that result in overly positive opinions?

BART: Exactly!
GREG: Hi, I heard something about a Frostie coupon?

BART: Yes sir! Just sign this release form without reading it.
GREG: No PROBLEM. Oooo, free pens!!

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#300. Honest opinions

October 31, 2009

TESTER: So, prior to the focus test, we just want to get to know you a little before we show you the product.
GREG: Yeah, I've done these. The product's great.

TESTER: Well, I haven't shown you the product.
GREG: But I bet it's great.

TESTER: OK, but... you don't have to like it. We want your honest opinions. Positive or negative.
GREG: Well, I'm positive it's great.

TESTER: Sir, you don't even know what it IS.
GREG: Uh huh... hey, when do I get that free Frostie coupon?

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#301. What makes you like a song?

November 1, 2009

TESTER: Before we begin the product testing, let me ask: what makes you like a song?
GREG: Like, you know, if it was on Gossip Girl.

TESTER: OK, well... let's say you hear a really good song that hasn't been on Gossip Girl, and-
GREG: But... if it's really good, it WOULD be on Gossip Girl.

TESTER: OK, but this one isn't.
GREG: But... why?

TESTER: Wait, was Gossip Girl canceled?! Is there somewhere I can check Twitter here?!
GREG: OK, let's... let's move on...

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