Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Storyline

Cloning Famous Bands

Hancock Records wants cloned hit bands, so Joel visits GeniTECH, home to clones of every ’80s Top 10 act, and an army of Devos.

10 stripsFrom the beginning Most popular

#67. The Wrong Approach

November 7, 2005

BART: Joel, it occurs to me... I'm always looking for bands who're similar to existing popular bands. Maybe... it's the
wrong approach.

JOEL: Sir! I've felt this way for years! We need bands that sound
different! New sounds! We-
BART: What? No. No, what we need is more accurate copies.

BART: We need human clones, Joel.

JOEL: Come... come again, sir?
BART: Look, here's a number of a guy I know down at GeniTECH....

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#68. Cloning is not instantaneous

November 8, 2005

DR. CARY: Hancock Records wants GeniTECH to do what exactly?
JOEL: Well, my boss, he... this'll sound silly, he wants to make clones of current popular bands.

DR. CARY: Ha ha, well, Mr. Dever, I appreciate your boss's ambition, but human cloning is a new science, and for starters, it's not instantaneous.

DR. CARY: Even if I were to make a clone today, it wouldn't be a mature adult for 18 years. We simply don't have the capability to do what you're describing.

JOEL: Of course, sorry to waste your time, I--
DR. CARY: What we do have are fully grown clones of every popular band from 1983 to 1985. Come, I'll show you....

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#69. Just needed a bit of DNA

November 9, 2005

DR. CARY: To clone these bands from the 80's, all we needed was a bit of their DNA. And it's never hard to find pieces of the world's most popular bands.

DR. CARY: Foreigner, for example, was recreated from hair grabbed by crazed groupies. The Cars from dandruff left on skinny ties. Gary Numan from dried saliva on moog keyboards.

JOEL: That's incredible.
DR. CARY: Incredible... and true.

JOEL: You're telling me Foreigner had "crazed groupies"?
DR. CARY: Yes, Joel, in 1985, we... we all wanted to know what love was....

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#70. Clone Gameroom

November 10, 2005

DR. CARY: Here they are, clones of every band with a Billboard Top 10 hit between 1983 and 1985.
JOEL: Wow....

DR. CARY: There's the clone of Bananarama, the clone of Wham!, the clone of Wang Chung.
JOEL: Ooo, and a clone of Roland Gift of Fine Young Cannibals!

DR. CARY: No, no, that actually is Roland. He's Todd's friend and he needed a place to crash for a month.
JOEL: Oh.
ROLAND GIFT: Hey.

ROLAND GIFT: Good thing! Doo doo doo doo doo, good thing!
DR. CARY: Roland! No! What'd I tell you about busking in here! Just ignore him, I'm sorry....

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#71. No Beatle Cloning

November 11, 2005

DR. CARY: Sadly, soon after the project began, we lost a lot of funding, so later bands like the Pixies and Nirvana were never cloned.

JOEL: But what about older bands? Like the Beatles? Why not clone the most successful rock band of all time?

JOEL: I guess back then you thought those bands would be just as successful.
DR. CARY: Well, there were also legal issues.

DR. CARY: Michael Jackson owns the rights to the Beatles DNA...
JEFF LYNNE: I was the fifth Beatle!
JOEL: Hey! A clone of Jeff Lynne!

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