Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Dr. Chris Cary

Dr. Chris Cary runs the human cloning lab at GeniTECH, home to clones of every band with a Top 10 hit from 1983 to 1985.

8 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #68. Cloning is not instantaneous

November 8, 2005

DR. CARY: Hancock Records wants GeniTECH to do what exactly?
JOEL: Well, my boss, he... this'll sound silly, he wants to make clones of current popular bands.

DR. CARY: Ha ha, well, Mr. Dever, I appreciate your boss's ambition, but human cloning is a new science, and for starters, it's not instantaneous.

DR. CARY: Even if I were to make a clone today, it wouldn't be a mature adult for 18 years. We simply don't have the capability to do what you're describing.

JOEL: Of course, sorry to waste your time, I--
DR. CARY: What we do have are fully grown clones of every popular band from 1983 to 1985. Come, I'll show you....

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Popularity rank 2 #75. Clone Project is a Success

November 17, 2005

DR. MERRILL: Now, sadly, none of the cloned bands have actually become good musicians.
JOEL: So, the project is a failure.

DR. MERRILL: Oh no! It's actually a success. We're friends with the band clones! We've proven that Ph.D.'s and rock stars aren't genetically predisposed to dislike one another.

JOEL: That was your hypothesis?
DR. CARY: Yes, we've submitted out findings to several bands along with invitations to hang out. No one's replied.

DR. MERRILL: Well, Mark McGrath said he'd get a beer with us.
DR. CARY: Yeah. We never sent him anything though.
JOEL: Look, I, uh... I better go.

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Popularity rank 3 #74. New Wave and New New Wave

November 16, 2005

JOEL: You know, 20 years after you guys made all these clones of "New Wave" bands, the whole "New New Wave" thing started. Quite a coincidence.

DR. CARY: Yes, it certainly is a coincidence and nothing more.
JOEL: Yep.

DR. CARY: The Duran Duran clones certainly didn't escape. And they certainly didn't move to Las Vegas and become the Killers.

JOEL: Wait, what?
DR. CARY: That certainly did not happen.

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Popularity rank 4 #73. Devo Clones

November 15, 2005

JOEL: Have there ever been any security problems at GeniTECH?
DR. CARY: Yes, the Devo clones took over the entire facility two years ago.

JOEL: My God.
DR. CARY: They created multiple clones of themselves. Hundreds. A veritable army of Devo.

JOEL: Was it some strange plot for world domination?
DR. CARY: No, no, it was just this large-scale performance art piece.

JOEL: Sounds a little obtuse.
DR. CARY: Yeah. Most of us don't really... "get" the Devo guys....

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Popularity rank 5 #72. Nature vs. Nurture

November 14, 2005

DR. CARY: Now, it's not all genetics a lot of what makes a musician great is how they grow up.
JOEL: Nature vs. nurture, sure.

DR. CARY: So we tried to raise the clones in situations similar to those of the original band. Here's where we raised the boys of Chicago, for example.

JOEL: This is an 8-foot cube with padded walls.
DR. CARY: Yes, but... with a Bears poster!

JOEL: You guys really do have funding problems.
DR. CARY: They used to have a Bulls poster, line, but we had a tough winter in '94, and the Peter Cetera clone burned it for warmth.

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