Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

The Cloud (a contextual boyfriend)

The Cloud is Smita’s Internet boyfriend: all her searches, purchases and tweets, made flesh. He knows what she wants, and runs ads.

14 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #246. Smita leaves

August 14, 2009

SMITA: Brett, this is it. I'm breaking up with you. Goodbye.

BRETT: Smita! NO! PLEASE! We can work this OUT! Smita! SMITA!

BRETT: Can... can she not HEAR me?
THE CLOUD: She's clicked "don't show", Brett.

THE CLOUD: You... no longer appear in her feed.
BRETT: NOOOO!!

0 views 1

Popularity rank 2 #250. Greg and the Cloud

August 18, 2009

BRETT: Hey Greg. Smita broke up with me. She's dating this guy now, "The Cloud". He's the embodiment of all Internet knowledge.
GREG: OK...

GREG: Why're you're hanging out with her new dude?
BRETT: Well, I want to hate him, but he keeps analyzing me and recommending awesome music.

THE CLOUD: Hello.
GREG: Uh... hi.

THE CLOUD: Based on your greeting I think you might enjoy "Band of Bees".
BRETT: Oh wow, yeah, you really would, Greg.

2 views Like

Popularity rank 3 #253. Back together

August 21, 2009

BRETT: Honey, I'm happy we're back together.
SMITA: Me too, sweetie. The Cloud seemed like a perfect boyfriend...

SMITA: But there're some things you can do that an intangible and ever-changing manifestation of my Internet preferences never could...

BRETT: Like sex?
SMITA: No. No, I had sex with him. It was great.

SMITA: But you... you'll LIE to me.
BRETT: Yes I will.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 4 #252. Moving in with The Cloud

August 20, 2009

BRETT: I give up, Cloud. You're a better boyfriend than I could ever be. Date her. Move in with her. Whatever.
THE CLOUD: Oh, we won't move in together.

SMITA: WHAT? Why NOT?
THE CLOUD: Well, I don't have the bandwidth to upload YOU, and your place... smells like VANILLA.

SMITA: Vanilla smells GOOD!
THE CLOUD: Not THAT much vanilla.
SMITA: UNSUBSCRIBE!!
THE CLOUD: Very well. POOF

BRETT: Um... I like vanilla.
SMITA: You're BACK in!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 5 #249. Out of nowhere

August 17, 2009

BRETT: I can't believe she left me. This is so out of NOWHERE...
THE CLOUD: ACTUALLY... 4 weeks ago you fought after seeing "Away We Go".

THE CLOUD: Her tone in emails, texts and tweets since then CLEARLY indicates a building resentment that you've done little to counter.

A pause.

BRETT: Can I opt-out of your hindsight?
THE CLOUD: Certainly. Would you mind taking a short survey before you unsubscribe?

1 view Like

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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Also by Porter Mason

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