Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

The Cloud (a contextual boyfriend)

The Cloud is Smita’s Internet boyfriend: all her searches, purchases and tweets, made flesh. He knows what she wants, and runs ads.

14 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #245. The Cloud’s favorite band

August 13, 2009

BRETT: Does your "cloud boyfriend" like music?
THE CLOUD: 65.3% of males matching Smita's most desired demographic list "Moby Grape" as a favorite band.

THE CLOUD: So Moby Grape is MY favorite band.
BRETT: Ugh... Can't you see how PHONY that is?

BRETT: He just morphs to whatever you want!
SMITA: Yes. He is... a SYCOPHANT.

SMITA: But he's very transparent about the process...
THE CLOUD: My ass-kissing is completely open source.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 7 #242. Optimized date schedule

July 30, 2009

BRETT: What're you and "THE CLOUD" doing tonight?
THE CLOUD: 6:04 - We will eat gnocchi and listen to ELO. 6:51 - I'll console her about a conflict at work.

THE CLOUD: 7:02 - I'll brush the hair from her face... and smile. 7:37 - We'll begin FOREPLAY.
SMITA: I thought we were watching FIREFLY tonight.

THE CLOUD: Yes, welll... the intercourse I have planned will be very... WHEDONESQUE.

BRETT: So you'll have witty dirty talk, sing when you orgasm and overanalyze it all later on Internet forums?
SMITA: OOO!! No spoilers!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 8 #241. Contextual boyfriend

July 29, 2009

SMITA: THE CLOUD is a manifestation of all my Internet purchases, searches, Tweets and emails. He's a CONTEXTUAL BOYFRIEND. He's what I want before I want it.

THE CLOUD: I'm constantly absorbing information and refining my personality to better suit Smita. Right, honeybun?
SMITA: "Honeybun"? Blech... BURY!

THE CLOUD: PLEASE WAIT... 68%... Interpreting data... Processing results... Reticulating splines...

THE CLOUD: Right, SWEETIE PIE?
SMITA: Aw, I AM your sweetie pie!! LIKE! LIKE!
BRETT: "Reticulating splines"?

1 view Like

Popularity rank 9 #240. Dating the Cloud

July 28, 2009

SMITA: It's like you don't even know me anymore. You used to keep up with what music I liked and RECOMMEND things to me.

SMITA: I bet PANDORA knows me better than YOU these days. Or the iTunes GENIUS BUTTON! And AMAZON.COM knows me MUCH better than you!

SMITA: So I'm leaving you, Brett. I'm leaving you for the Internet.
BRETT: WHAT?

SMITA: Meet my new boyfriend, THE CLOUD.
BRETT: My... my God...
THE CLOUD: Just got DUMPED? Try Match.com!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 10 #251. Guilty pleasures

August 19, 2009

BRETT: I'M the better boyfriend. You're based on her PUBLIC preferences. You can't know she secretly loves-
THE CLOUD: "Invisible Touching"?

BRETT: God DAMN IT! How could you KNOW that? She'd NEVER admit that!
THE CLOUD: Well, I have a complex GUILTY PLEASURE algorithm.

THE CLOUD: Also, everyone in the world secretly loves Genesis.
BRETT: Ha! I don't!

THE CLOUD: Yes, you do.
BRETT: (sigh) I do.

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