Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Storyline

Dating the Cloud

Brett’s girlfriend decides to leave him for the Internet, which knows her way better than he does.

15 stripsFrom the beginning Most popular

#239. Birthday mix

July 10, 2009

SMITA: This mix you made for my birthday has "BLUEBERRY BOAT" on it.
BRETT: Oh, of course, sweetie! I'll never forget when we met at that concert.

BRETT: You were checking Brooklyn Vegan on your Treo. Well... TRYING to! Ha! Wow... remember TREOS?
SMITA: Brett! I HATE the Fiery Furnaces now!

SMITA: I'm totally out of my Bush-era "ESCAPIST WHIMSY" phase. Do you... do you even FOLLOW my FriendFeed?
BRETT: No, I... follow your TUMBLR.

BRETT: Isn't it... pretty much... the SAME?
SMITA: Uh... WOW. I... I think we need to talk...

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#240. Dating the Cloud

July 28, 2009

SMITA: It's like you don't even know me anymore. You used to keep up with what music I liked and RECOMMEND things to me.

SMITA: I bet PANDORA knows me better than YOU these days. Or the iTunes GENIUS BUTTON! And AMAZON.COM knows me MUCH better than you!

SMITA: So I'm leaving you, Brett. I'm leaving you for the Internet.
BRETT: WHAT?

SMITA: Meet my new boyfriend, THE CLOUD.
BRETT: My... my God...
THE CLOUD: Just got DUMPED? Try Match.com!

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#241. Contextual boyfriend

July 29, 2009

SMITA: THE CLOUD is a manifestation of all my Internet purchases, searches, Tweets and emails. He's a CONTEXTUAL BOYFRIEND. He's what I want before I want it.

THE CLOUD: I'm constantly absorbing information and refining my personality to better suit Smita. Right, honeybun?
SMITA: "Honeybun"? Blech... BURY!

THE CLOUD: PLEASE WAIT... 68%... Interpreting data... Processing results... Reticulating splines...

THE CLOUD: Right, SWEETIE PIE?
SMITA: Aw, I AM your sweetie pie!! LIKE! LIKE!
BRETT: "Reticulating splines"?

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#242. Optimized date schedule

July 30, 2009

BRETT: What're you and "THE CLOUD" doing tonight?
THE CLOUD: 6:04 - We will eat gnocchi and listen to ELO. 6:51 - I'll console her about a conflict at work.

THE CLOUD: 7:02 - I'll brush the hair from her face... and smile. 7:37 - We'll begin FOREPLAY.
SMITA: I thought we were watching FIREFLY tonight.

THE CLOUD: Yes, welll... the intercourse I have planned will be very... WHEDONESQUE.

BRETT: So you'll have witty dirty talk, sing when you orgasm and overanalyze it all later on Internet forums?
SMITA: OOO!! No spoilers!

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#243. Contextual ads

August 11, 2009

BRETT: Aren't you turned off by the contextual ads he spews out?
SMITA: No, I mean, look, he has to make money.

THE CLOUD: Make money online!
BRETT: Ugh, I'm not a fan...
THE CLOUD: Ceiling fan outlet!
BRETT: See? It's CREEPY...
THE CLOUD: Creepy Halloween masks?

BRETT: Please-
THE CLOUD: PLEASE your woman!
BRETT: No-
THE CLOUD: NOMAR Garciaparra signed bobbleheads!
BRETT: STOP!!
THE CLOUD: STOP SIGNS! Hilarious novelty stop signs!

BRETT: AUGH!! Quit it, quit it, QUIT IT!
THE CLOUD: Sarah Palin in 2012: Donate now!!

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