Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Brett the hipster

Brett is a hipster who disowns any band that licenses a song, and Greg‘s roommate. He spent a year avoiding “You’re Beautiful.”

70 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #138. No James Blunt at the Subway

August 5, 2006

SUBWAY WORKER: Sir, I asked if you want the meal or just the sandwich.
BRETT: I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW.

BRETT: I HAVE TO KEEP MY HANDS ON MY EARS WHILE YOUR INSTORE MUSIC IS PLAYING THIS JAMES BLUNT SONG.
SUBWAY CUSTOMER: What? This "You're Beautiful" song?

SUBWAY WORKER: DENNIS! CAN YOU COME OUT HERE? DENNIS!!
BRETT: I'M TRYING TO AVOID HEARING IT. I'VE HELD OUT FOR A YEAR.
SUBWAY CUSTOMER: It's not so bad. Sorta harmless hooky pop.

SUBWAY WORKER: OK, just... look, I'm charging you for the meal...
BRETT: IT'S SORT OF A "QUEST".
SUBWAY CUSTOMER: Can I have his chips?

2 views 1

Popularity rank 2 #307. Barry and Mega-Tune

November 12, 2009

BARRY: Attention listeners: this radio station will now only play simplified, one-note versions of songs created through a horrifying process called "MEGA-TUNE".

BARRY: You'll grumble, but then submit. As you have to every atrocity during what has become a 40-year march toward the complete homogenization of rock.

BARRY: So... after the break, I'll play all of John Mellancamp's "American Fool", but you'll just hear nine single notes matched with nine semi-patriotic grunts.

BARRY: It's gonna suck, but you deserve it. And I'm BARRY, the HONEST DJ. Back after this...
BRETT: Barry speaks the truth and it hurts so good.

2 views Like

Popularity rank 3 #250. Greg and the Cloud

August 18, 2009

BRETT: Hey Greg. Smita broke up with me. She's dating this guy now, "The Cloud". He's the embodiment of all Internet knowledge.
GREG: OK...

GREG: Why're you're hanging out with her new dude?
BRETT: Well, I want to hate him, but he keeps analyzing me and recommending awesome music.

THE CLOUD: Hello.
GREG: Uh... hi.

THE CLOUD: Based on your greeting I think you might enjoy "Band of Bees".
BRETT: Oh wow, yeah, you really would, Greg.

2 views Like

Popularity rank 4 #145. Blunt By Northwest

August 18, 2006

BRETT: (sigh) The song can't find me here.

BIPLANE: (singing) You're beautiful....
BRETT: Oh, no....

BIPLANE: (singing) You're beautiful, it's true....
BRETT: AUGH!

BIPLANE: (singing) I saw your face in a crowded place....
BRETT: God damn adult contemporary cropdusters....

2 views Like

Popularity rank 5 #31. Time estimates for the concert tonight

July 19, 2005

GREG: OK. So. Doors open at 7. Opening band starts at 8.
BRETT: They're done at 9:30. The main band goes on at 10.

GREG: They play all the crappy songs off their new album for an hour.
BRETT: They play old, crowd-pleasing radio hits until 11:30.

GREG: We get there at midnight, to catch the encore with the heartfelt acoustic number.
BRETT: ...and the showstopping cover of some Kinks' song.

GREG: OK, great... hey, which band are we seeing again?
BRETT: I forget. I think they were big in the 90's. Or 80's.

2 views Like

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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