Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Gordon the pretentious popstar

Gordon Cranwick is in Jumpstart Malady and wants respect, a solo career, and more than one song on the album. He quits often.

22 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #225. Why the fans showed up

March 27, 2009

TONY KING THE AGENT: Gordon, you should know-
GORDON CRANWICK: That was great to do a SOLO SET! My fans really SHOWED UP, too!

TONY KING THE AGENT: Yeah, Gordon, but-
GORDON CRANWICK: People know I'm not just Kevin Edo's backing band! They RESPECT ME!
TONY KING THE AGENT: GORDON!

TONY KING THE AGENT: I... had to promise Kevin would do an autograph line to get fans to show up.
KEVIN EDO: Hello Gordon.

TONY KING THE AGENT: I HAD to, man! If I send tweets without Kevin's name, PEOPLE UNSUBSCRIBE!
KEVIN EDO: Maybe I'll play some of my solo stuff first to sorta CLEANSE THEIR PALETTES...

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Popularity rank 2 #219. Gordon’s solo shows

March 18, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: I wanna get back to my INDIE ROOTS. Play some SOLO shows. INTIMATE: just ME and my GUITAR.
KEVIN EDO: And your ASSISTANT.

GORDON CRANWICK: FINE. Still... INTIMATE: just ME, my GUITAR and my ASSISTANT.
KEVIN EDO: And your SOUND guy, VIDEOGRAPHER and STYLIST.

GORDON CRANWICK: Fine: ME, my GUITAR, my ASSISTANT, my SOUND guy, my-
KEVIN EDO: And your NUTRITIONIST, SECURITY detail, PETS, pet WRANGLERS...

GORDON CRANWICK: INTIMACY is not defined by a, uh, a NUMBER, Kevin!
KEVIN EDO: Good, cos I ballpark you at about 35 or 40 now. NOT including craft services.

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Popularity rank 3 #46. Happy with the mix

October 7, 2005

AGENT: OK, so we're good now? You're both happy with what we're doing with the song?
KEVIN EDO: Yes.
GORDON CRANWICK: Yes.

AGENT: Kevin's parts have been removed entirely.
KEVIN EDO: Right, I'm not involved at ALL.
GORDON CRANWICK: Yeah, NO guitar.

AGENT: We're putting it as the 8th of 10 songs on the album.
KEVIN EDO: Yes.
GORDON CRANWICK: Fine, bury it. But it's ON the album.

AGENT: And the song will be titled "Kevin Edo is an egotistical asshole".
GORDON CRANWICK: YES.
KEVIN EDO: Call it whatever you like, NO one listens past track 5....

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Popularity rank 4 #45. I want it in writing

October 6, 2005

KEVIN EDO: Don't take that the wrong way, Gordon, I just--
GORDON CRANWICK: Excuse me?! I can't believe-- I want that in writing, Kevin.

KEVIN EDO: Come on, look--
GORDON CRANWICK: No, here: "I, Kevin Edo, state that Gordon Cranwick's songwriting lacks heart." Sign it!

KEVIN EDO: (sigh) I'm not signing this, Gordon, when, when....

KEVIN EDO: You know, it's not so much "heart" as it is "emotion."
GORDON CRANWICK: Make whatever changes you like! I'll initial them!

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Popularity rank 5 #224. Manufacturing indie cred

March 26, 2009

TONY KING THE AGENT: OK, Gordon... we replaced the ACTUAL intimate folk open mic audience with industry YES-MEN, your TWITTER followers and paid BACKGROUND ACTORS.

TONY KING THE AGENT: We've also GUTTED the club and put in TVs, LIGHTING and a state-of-the-art $500,000 SOUNDSYSTEM.
GORDON CRANWICK: OK...

GORDON CRANWICK: This'll still give me INDIE CRED though, right?

TONY KING THE AGENT: SURE, SURE... we just gotta phrase the press release carefully, big guy...
GORDON CRANWICK: BLEAH! These melons are too FRESH!!

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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