Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Gordon the pretentious popstar

Gordon Cranwick is in Jumpstart Malady and wants respect, a solo career, and more than one song on the album. He quits often.

22 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 11 #115. Practicing for the tour

March 6, 2006

AGENT: OK, tour starts Friday. Now, you all won't actually be playing your instruments. We'll be piping in the music.

AGENT: But your hands need to look like they're moving along with the recordings.
KEVIN EDO: What, like those mechanical bears at Chuck E. Cheese?

AGENT: If that helps you, sure.
GORDON CRANWICK: Jesus, we don't need to rehearse that, Anth. We know--
PETER WELD: C'mon! Let's just go! One! Two! Thr--

PETER WELD: Wait, hold on.... Dropped my sticks....
GORDON CRANWICK: I stand corrected.
AGENT: Maybe we'll just project video of you guys playing.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 12 #114. Kevin tells Gordon about tour

March 3, 2006

GORDON CRANWICK: What? On TOUR? What-- where do you come off, Kevin? Fuck you. You treat me and Peter like SHIT. We have ZERO artistic control anymore.

GORDON CRANWICK: Not until we become a BAND again, and not some Kevin Edo promotional machine, will I even CONSIDER standing on stage with you, you fucking... FUCKHOLE!!

SOUND EFFECT: SLAM!

GORDON CRANWICK: OK.... That felt good. So, first date's in Chicago?
KEVIN EDO: Yeah, on Friday.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 13 #46. Happy with the mix

October 7, 2005

AGENT: OK, so we're good now? You're both happy with what we're doing with the song?
KEVIN EDO: Yes.
GORDON CRANWICK: Yes.

AGENT: Kevin's parts have been removed entirely.
KEVIN EDO: Right, I'm not involved at ALL.
GORDON CRANWICK: Yeah, NO guitar.

AGENT: We're putting it as the 8th of 10 songs on the album.
KEVIN EDO: Yes.
GORDON CRANWICK: Fine, bury it. But it's ON the album.

AGENT: And the song will be titled "Kevin Edo is an egotistical asshole".
GORDON CRANWICK: YES.
KEVIN EDO: Call it whatever you like, NO one listens past track 5....

1 view Like

Popularity rank 14 #45. I want it in writing

October 6, 2005

KEVIN EDO: Don't take that the wrong way, Gordon, I just--
GORDON CRANWICK: Excuse me?! I can't believe-- I want that in writing, Kevin.

KEVIN EDO: Come on, look--
GORDON CRANWICK: No, here: "I, Kevin Edo, state that Gordon Cranwick's songwriting lacks heart." Sign it!

KEVIN EDO: (sigh) I'm not signing this, Gordon, when, when....

KEVIN EDO: You know, it's not so much "heart" as it is "emotion."
GORDON CRANWICK: Make whatever changes you like! I'll initial them!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 15 #44. Fixed mix

October 5, 2005

GORDON CRANWICK: This mix sucks, Kevin! You purposefully made a crappy mix of the one song I have on this album!
KEVIN EDO: That's not true.

GORDON CRANWICK: It's a fix! You fixed the mix!
KEVIN EDO: (sigh) I did the best mix I could with that song, Gordon.

GORDON CRANWICK: The best mix?! I told you Peter's drums were lame, why didn't you turn them up?!

KEVIN EDO: I can turn up the drums, Gordon, but I can't turn up the heart!
PETER WELD: My drums were lame. You know, I don't think I get your song, Gordon.

1 view Like

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