Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Gordon the pretentious popstar

22 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #223. Laying down some crowdtalk

March 25, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: (singing) Creatioooon of broooken- Oops, lemme take that again...
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: Ha! Kinda tough when it's not PRERECORDED, huh, man? STICK TO STADIUMS, SELLOUT!

GORDON CRANWICK: Be COOL, Gordon... This is that classic AUDIENCE INTERACTION you get in small venue shows. We just gotta lay some charming CROWDTALK on him, like you did in the old days.

GORDON CRANWICK: SECURITY, get this little ASSTOASTER out of my SIGHT!

GORDON CRANWICK: Guess that crowdtalk muscle has ATROPHIED a little...
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: HEY, you can't just- OW!! Hands off the DREADS, dude!!!

0 views 1

Popularity rank 7 #116. Peter

March 8, 2006

KEVIN EDO: You were out of control last tour, man. Using every night... high every show....
GORDON CRANWICK: We don't want that to happen again.

KEVIN EDO: Look, we care a lot about you. You're an important part of our lives. We don't want to lose you.
GORDON CRANWICK: But Peter, the reality is...

GORDON CRANWICK: If you don't stop hogging all the heroin, you're out of the band.

PETER WELD: Wow.
KEVIN EDO: I know that's a tough thing to hear, man.
GORDON CRANWICK: Also, those fun size Twix on the bus are COMMUNAL, Peter.

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Popularity rank 8 #7. Thinking outside the box

January 25, 2005

AGENT: OK, bad news, boys, the label was very down on the last tapes of the album you sent in.

AGENT: So, if this record is gonna happen, we need to really change it up, think outside the box.
GORDON CRANWICK: OK.
KEVIN EDO: Yeah.

GORDON CRANWICK: What if we made the whole CD a hidden track!
KEVIN EDO: Ooo, yeah! So, like, there's just 40 minutes of silence... and then the album!

AGENT: OK... everybody back in the box....
GORDON CRANWICK: We could re-record all the guitar solos with pan flutes!
KEVIN EDO: Pan flutes! Yes! Yes!
ROCCO: (silent)

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Popularity rank 9 #208. Lowering ticket prices

February 11, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: Lower ticket prices DEVALUE us! I don't care what TAYLOR SWIFT is doing!
PETER WELD: It'll sell more tickets AND make us look charitable.

KEVIN EDO: Seems like a win/win, Gordon.
GORDON CRANWICK: It's a slippery SLOPE, Kevin!
PETER WELD: Now... point #2, our CD prices...

GORDON CRANWICK: Oh, NO WAY, Peter! I will not be BANISHED to the GHETTO of the BARGAIN BIN!!
PETER WELD: Look, it's another win/win...

GORDON CRANWICK: I will DIE I am BOUGHT and SOLD at the "NICE PRICE"!
PETER WELD: We'll make more money AND still be respected! Ask Incubus!

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Popularity rank 10 #133. Gordon wants a solo album

July 28, 2006

GORDON CRANWICK: But Kevin got to put out a solo album!
BART: Kevin is the frontman. He's the Rob Thomas of the band.

GORDON CRANWICK: Who the hell am I then?!
BART: You're the Tom Poston of the band.

GORDON CRANWICK: Who the hell's Tom Poston?!
BART: He was on Newhart, Gordon.

GORDON CRANWICK: So what the hell does that mean?
BART: It means "no solo for Gordo." Barbra, is Newhart out on DVD yet?
BARBRA: No, sir.

1 view Like

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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