Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Gordon the pretentious popstar

Gordon Cranwick is in Jumpstart Malady and wants respect, a solo career, and more than one song on the album. He quits often.

22 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #133. Gordon wants a solo album

July 28, 2006

GORDON CRANWICK: But Kevin got to put out a solo album!
BART: Kevin is the frontman. He's the Rob Thomas of the band.

GORDON CRANWICK: Who the hell am I then?!
BART: You're the Tom Poston of the band.

GORDON CRANWICK: Who the hell's Tom Poston?!
BART: He was on Newhart, Gordon.

GORDON CRANWICK: So what the hell does that mean?
BART: It means "no solo for Gordo." Barbra, is Newhart out on DVD yet?
BARBRA: No, sir.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 7 #126. Jumpstart Malady leaves Chicago

March 31, 2006

AGENT: OK, first show went well... sold-out house, and gordon only quit ONCE, heh, right, guys?

AGENT: Oh, we're all set up in Cleveland. We're at the Four Seasons. And I confirmed Letterman in April... Guys? Why are we not talking?

AGENT: Jesus, is this still about this morning? There was nothing I could do!
PETER WELD: Bull... SHIT.

AGENT: They stop serving breakfast at 10:30! It's just the rule!
PETER WELD: You find me a McGriddle, Anth, or I fund us a new manager!
GORDON CRANWICK: I... I quit.
KEVIN EDO: Shut up, Gordon.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 8 #122. Coaxing Gordon to play

March 22, 2006

AGENT: Gordon, come out of there, buddy. The show starts in a half hour.
GORDON CRANWICK: NO way, man. Not unless we play some of my songs.

AGENT: No, look, Kevin's got some of yours in here...
GORDON CRANWICK: KEVIN put ONE of my songs, BURIED in the middle of the set, and KEVIN can go FUCK himself.

AGENT: Gordon, (sigh)... I dunno, look, what if I arrange for the camera guy to... CONCENTRATE on you a little more than usual?

GORDON CRANWICK: How "concentrated" are we talking?
AGENT: 65% of head shots, Gordon, 100% of two shots, now put some pants on....

1 view Like

Popularity rank 9 #120. Figuring out the setlist

March 17, 2006

KEVIN EDO: OK, we're pulling into Chicago. Let's talk setlist.
PETER WELD: Whatever you guys decide is fine.
GORDON CRANWICK: I want at least 3 of my songs in the show.

KEVIN EDO: Well... now we do need to play our hits.
PETER WELD: Someone just post the list on my high-hat.
GORDON CRANWICK: Is that some sort of indirect jab at my songs?

KEVIN EDO: I didn't mean to be indirect, Gordon.
PETER WELD: And grab me for the encore. I'll be here in the bus.
GORDON CRANWICK: Fuck you, Kevin! I'm not playing tonight!

KEVIN EDO: None of us are playing. They're dubbing in the music.
GORDON CRANWICK: Well, then I'm not FAKE playing!
PETER WELD: Shit. OK, I need somebody's Warcraft login.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 10 #117. Peter won’t play Boston

March 10, 2006

AGENT: So then you guys'll play Boston.
PETER WELD: No! We DON'T play Boston!
KEVIN EDO: Last tour, we ate Thai food in Boston.
GORDON CRANWICK: Peter ordered Pad Kee Mao.

PETER WELD: I asked for it MILD!
KEVIN EDO: They made it too spicy.
AGENT: Why didn't you just send it back?
GORDON CRANWICK: Peter doesn't send back food.

KEVIN EDO: So Jumpstart Malady won't play Boston.
GORDON CRANWICK: So Peter won't play Boston.
AGENT: OK... OK, well, no Boston.

AGENT: So next is New Haven....
PETER WELD: HA! No WAY I play New Haven!
KEVIN EDO: Last tour, we went bowling in New Haven.
GORDON CRANWICK: Peter rolled an 8-10 split.

1 view Like

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