Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Gordon the pretentious popstar

Gordon Cranwick is in Jumpstart Malady and wants respect, a solo career, and more than one song on the album. He quits often.

22 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 16 #43. Different Mix

October 4, 2005

KEVIN EDO: OK, Gordon, here's the mix of your song. Now... I sort of went for a different feel with it....
GORDON CRANWICK: OK.

PETER WELD: Wow. This is really different, Kevin.
KEVIN EDO: Yeah, it's a different sort of take on it.

GORDON CRANWICK: Yeah, it's definitely different, Kevin.
KEVIN EDO: Yeah, I was going for something different.
PETER WELD: Really different.

GORDON CRANWICK: Yeah, do you not like my song, Kevin?
KEVIN EDO: No, I really don't, Gordon.
PETER WELD: I mean it sounds like a different song.

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Popularity rank 17 #311. Malady hears about Mega-Tune

November 18, 2009

GORDON: Kevin! I have some really bad, really WEIRD, news!
KEVIN: Not now, Gordon. I'm playing Brutal Legend with Jason Mraz.

GORDON: The label developed this process called Mega-Tune. It bastardizes our songs to these commercially-acceptable one-note versions!
KEVIN: OK...

GORDON: Kevin! Our songs... our life's work.... they're homogenizing it. They're massacring it!!!
KEVIN: Let's not overreact, OK? I'm sure the label has its reasons.

GORDON: On a side note, due to this process, we'll be losing a tiny amount of royalty money.
KEVIN: We must STOP this, Gordon! We WILL stop this! Though the heavens fall!

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Popularity rank 18 #224. Manufacturing indie cred

March 26, 2009

TONY KING THE AGENT: OK, Gordon... we replaced the ACTUAL intimate folk open mic audience with industry YES-MEN, your TWITTER followers and paid BACKGROUND ACTORS.

TONY KING THE AGENT: We've also GUTTED the club and put in TVs, LIGHTING and a state-of-the-art $500,000 SOUNDSYSTEM.
GORDON CRANWICK: OK...

GORDON CRANWICK: This'll still give me INDIE CRED though, right?

TONY KING THE AGENT: SURE, SURE... we just gotta phrase the press release carefully, big guy...
GORDON CRANWICK: BLEAH! These melons are too FRESH!!

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Popularity rank 19 #223. Laying down some crowdtalk

March 25, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: (singing) Creatioooon of broooken- Oops, lemme take that again...
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: Ha! Kinda tough when it's not PRERECORDED, huh, man? STICK TO STADIUMS, SELLOUT!

GORDON CRANWICK: Be COOL, Gordon... This is that classic AUDIENCE INTERACTION you get in small venue shows. We just gotta lay some charming CROWDTALK on him, like you did in the old days.

GORDON CRANWICK: SECURITY, get this little ASSTOASTER out of my SIGHT!

GORDON CRANWICK: Guess that crowdtalk muscle has ATROPHIED a little...
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: HEY, you can't just- OW!! Hands off the DREADS, dude!!!

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Popularity rank 20 #222. No show for Gordo

March 24, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: There's no one fucking HERE, Colin!
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: We don't get big crowds. I TOLD you that.

GORDON CRANWICK: But Gordon Cranwick of Jumpstart Malady is doing a surprise impromptu acoustic SOLO SET!!
TONY KING THE AGENT: Gordon, you said NOT to advertise it.

GORDON CRANWICK: I figured you wouldn't be able to contain yourself!
TONY KING THE AGENT: Yes, well... sadly I successfully contained myself.

GORDON CRANWICK: I've been practicing for this impromptu set for weeks!
COLIN THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADS: Look, we gotta get started. They do a Guitar Hero tournament in here at 9...

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