Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Tony King the agent

Tony King, or Anthony, is Jumpstart Malady’s agent. He books the tours, fakes the live shows, and his eyes turn into dollar signs.

30 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #345. Meeting Twilight guy

February 8, 2010

JOEL: Hi, are you "Ayok"? I'm from Hancock Records. I'm here to sign you.
AYOK: Grnlk brzlm.
TONY KING: I'm Ayok's agent. He says "cool."

JOEL: Is he... is he OK?
AYOK: Shkbrs wprprd.
TONY KING: Look, the kid's in TWILIGHT. He's a fucking shirtless GOLDMINE. Don't rock the boat, OK?

HANDJOB GIRL: Excuse me... can- can I please give him another handjob?
AYOK: Aoosdk sdwr.
TONY KING: Make it quick.

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Popularity rank 2 #365. Legal divorce

April 16, 2010

KEVIN: Anthony? Where's SHUKRI?
ANTHONY: I just heard from her agent. She's legally divorcing you as a parent. Also, she's screwing Robert Pattinson.

KEVIN: Whoa. So my adopted African daughter/lover left me for the guy from Twilight.
ANTHONY: It's a tale as old as time.

KEVIN: Hey, did you ever find out for me how her parents died?
ANTHONY: Yes. They were beheaded during a military coup she initiated.

KEVIN: (sigh) I'm gonna miss her.
ANTHONY: She's quite a woman.

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Popularity rank 3 #225. Why the fans showed up

March 27, 2009

TONY KING THE AGENT: Gordon, you should know-
GORDON CRANWICK: That was great to do a SOLO SET! My fans really SHOWED UP, too!

TONY KING THE AGENT: Yeah, Gordon, but-
GORDON CRANWICK: People know I'm not just Kevin Edo's backing band! They RESPECT ME!
TONY KING THE AGENT: GORDON!

TONY KING THE AGENT: I... had to promise Kevin would do an autograph line to get fans to show up.
KEVIN EDO: Hello Gordon.

TONY KING THE AGENT: I HAD to, man! If I send tweets without Kevin's name, PEOPLE UNSUBSCRIBE!
KEVIN EDO: Maybe I'll play some of my solo stuff first to sorta CLEANSE THEIR PALETTES...

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Popularity rank 4 #199. Inauguration gig

January 19, 2009

KEVIN EDO: No, we WANT an inauguration gig! I just did that stupid Huckabee fundraiser to meet CHUCK NORRIS!
ANTHONY THE AGENT: Jesus, OK! I'll make a call...

KEVIN EDO: Who cares who I "supported" anyway? We're big! Obama's big! He'd WANT us there tomorrow! I mean, right?
PETER WELD: Yeah...

KEVIN EDO: Like I bet Lincoln wanted, like... who was big back then?
PETER WELD: During Lincoln? I dunno...
ANTHONY THE AGENT: No, fuck YOU, Rahm!

ANTHONY THE AGENT: OK, gig's on.
PETER WELD: Elvis Costello?
KEVIN EDO: No, he's NEVER been big... And I think he fought for the British, man.

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Popularity rank 5 #346. Planning Ayok’s signing

February 12, 2010

JOEL: Your client is getting a recording contract with us. I guess we're supposed to have the press take photos of the signing tonight.

AYOK: Pmgs sffj.
JOEL: Should we do it onstage? Right when he finishes his set?
TONY KING: He's not doing a set. He can't sing or play music.

JOEL: Well. That'll make recording interesting.
TONY KING: Pput a sticker on the CD that says "Some Guy from Twilight". We'll be OK.

AYOK: Akmdf! AOKOKGIIFNFNSR!!!
JOEL: He... seems to be having some sort of SEIZURE.
TONY KING: He's fine. He just needs another vodka and Ambien.

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