Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Tony King the agent

Tony King, or Anthony, is Jumpstart Malady’s agent. He books the tours, fakes the live shows, and his eyes turn into dollar signs.

30 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 16 #199. Inauguration gig

January 19, 2009

KEVIN EDO: No, we WANT an inauguration gig! I just did that stupid Huckabee fundraiser to meet CHUCK NORRIS!
ANTHONY THE AGENT: Jesus, OK! I'll make a call...

KEVIN EDO: Who cares who I "supported" anyway? We're big! Obama's big! He'd WANT us there tomorrow! I mean, right?
PETER WELD: Yeah...

KEVIN EDO: Like I bet Lincoln wanted, like... who was big back then?
PETER WELD: During Lincoln? I dunno...
ANTHONY THE AGENT: No, fuck YOU, Rahm!

ANTHONY THE AGENT: OK, gig's on.
PETER WELD: Elvis Costello?
KEVIN EDO: No, he's NEVER been big... And I think he fought for the British, man.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 17 #169. Enthusiast press

September 12, 2008

KEVIN EDO: So I have to have dinner with some MUSIC REVIEWER from a magazine?
ANTHONY THE AGENT: He's not with a magazine.

ANTHONY THE AGENT: He's part of the ENTHUSIAST PRESS: bloggers, podcasters, fanboys... they're just like actual journalists, but they have LESS INTEGRITY and own MORE MEMORABILIA.

KEVIN EDO: But why DINNER? Let's just bribe his parent company!
ANTHONY THE AGENT: He has no parent company, Kevin! We gotta use PERSONAL INTERACTION with these guys. Blind 'em with star power.

KEVIN EDO: (sigh) It used to be so EASY to buy reviews.
ANTHONY THE AGENT: Just pretend you respect him for a coupla minutes... y'know... like we do with Congressmen...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 18 #126. Jumpstart Malady leaves Chicago

March 31, 2006

AGENT: OK, first show went well... sold-out house, and gordon only quit ONCE, heh, right, guys?

AGENT: Oh, we're all set up in Cleveland. We're at the Four Seasons. And I confirmed Letterman in April... Guys? Why are we not talking?

AGENT: Jesus, is this still about this morning? There was nothing I could do!
PETER WELD: Bull... SHIT.

AGENT: They stop serving breakfast at 10:30! It's just the rule!
PETER WELD: You find me a McGriddle, Anth, or I fund us a new manager!
GORDON CRANWICK: I... I quit.
KEVIN EDO: Shut up, Gordon.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 19 #122. Coaxing Gordon to play

March 22, 2006

AGENT: Gordon, come out of there, buddy. The show starts in a half hour.
GORDON CRANWICK: NO way, man. Not unless we play some of my songs.

AGENT: No, look, Kevin's got some of yours in here...
GORDON CRANWICK: KEVIN put ONE of my songs, BURIED in the middle of the set, and KEVIN can go FUCK himself.

AGENT: Gordon, (sigh)... I dunno, look, what if I arrange for the camera guy to... CONCENTRATE on you a little more than usual?

GORDON CRANWICK: How "concentrated" are we talking?
AGENT: 65% of head shots, Gordon, 100% of two shots, now put some pants on....

1 view Like

Popularity rank 20 #121. Soundcheck in Chicago

March 20, 2006

AGENT: You have 20 minutes for soundcheck. Where's Gordon?
KEVIN EDO: Gordon's not coming.
PETER WELD: Where will the water be? And snacks?

AGENT: Water behind the bass amp. Hummus and pitas by the scaffolding. What? Where is he, Kevin?
KEVIN EDO: Dunno. Don't care. Don't need him.
PETER WELD: Oooo, hummus....

AGENT: I'll find Gordon, you guys see how things sound.
KEVIN EDO: HELLO, HELLO. GO FUCK YOURSELF, CHICAGO.
PETER WELD: Hey, nice screen, we got the JVC.

KEVIN EDO: HEH, I'M JUST KIDDING, CHICAGO. PETER, YOU... GOT HUMMUS ON YOUR EAR.
PETER WELD: Whoop, so I do. Good eye....

1 view Like

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

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