Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Tony King the agent

30 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 21 #169. Enthusiast press

September 12, 2008

KEVIN EDO: So I have to have dinner with some MUSIC REVIEWER from a magazine?
ANTHONY THE AGENT: He's not with a magazine.

ANTHONY THE AGENT: He's part of the ENTHUSIAST PRESS: bloggers, podcasters, fanboys... they're just like actual journalists, but they have LESS INTEGRITY and own MORE MEMORABILIA.

KEVIN EDO: But why DINNER? Let's just bribe his parent company!
ANTHONY THE AGENT: He has no parent company, Kevin! We gotta use PERSONAL INTERACTION with these guys. Blind 'em with star power.

KEVIN EDO: (sigh) It used to be so EASY to buy reviews.
ANTHONY THE AGENT: Just pretend you respect him for a coupla minutes... y'know... like we do with Congressmen...

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Popularity rank 22 #126. Jumpstart Malady leaves Chicago

March 31, 2006

AGENT: OK, first show went well... sold-out house, and gordon only quit ONCE, heh, right, guys?

AGENT: Oh, we're all set up in Cleveland. We're at the Four Seasons. And I confirmed Letterman in April... Guys? Why are we not talking?

AGENT: Jesus, is this still about this morning? There was nothing I could do!
PETER WELD: Bull... SHIT.

AGENT: They stop serving breakfast at 10:30! It's just the rule!
PETER WELD: You find me a McGriddle, Anth, or I fund us a new manager!
GORDON CRANWICK: I... I quit.
KEVIN EDO: Shut up, Gordon.

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Popularity rank 23 #122. Coaxing Gordon to play

March 22, 2006

AGENT: Gordon, come out of there, buddy. The show starts in a half hour.
GORDON CRANWICK: NO way, man. Not unless we play some of my songs.

AGENT: No, look, Kevin's got some of yours in here...
GORDON CRANWICK: KEVIN put ONE of my songs, BURIED in the middle of the set, and KEVIN can go FUCK himself.

AGENT: Gordon, (sigh)... I dunno, look, what if I arrange for the camera guy to... CONCENTRATE on you a little more than usual?

GORDON CRANWICK: How "concentrated" are we talking?
AGENT: 65% of head shots, Gordon, 100% of two shots, now put some pants on....

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Popularity rank 24 #121. Soundcheck in Chicago

March 20, 2006

AGENT: You have 20 minutes for soundcheck. Where's Gordon?
KEVIN EDO: Gordon's not coming.
PETER WELD: Where will the water be? And snacks?

AGENT: Water behind the bass amp. Hummus and pitas by the scaffolding. What? Where is he, Kevin?
KEVIN EDO: Dunno. Don't care. Don't need him.
PETER WELD: Oooo, hummus....

AGENT: I'll find Gordon, you guys see how things sound.
KEVIN EDO: HELLO, HELLO. GO FUCK YOURSELF, CHICAGO.
PETER WELD: Hey, nice screen, we got the JVC.

KEVIN EDO: HEH, I'M JUST KIDDING, CHICAGO. PETER, YOU... GOT HUMMUS ON YOUR EAR.
PETER WELD: Whoop, so I do. Good eye....

1 view Like

Popularity rank 25 #118. Picking an opening band

March 13, 2006

AGENT: Here's who's available for an opening band: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Giant Drag, the Futureheads and the Subways.
KEVIN EDO: They're good, right? And all rock?

KEVIN EDO: I won't have our fans sit through 45 minutes of noise.
AGENT: They're all good. All rock. Just need you to pick one. Here's their albums, you can listen and--

KEVIN EDO: Any of 'em have hot chicks?

AGENT: Well... I guess Giant Drag has--
KEVIN EDO: OK, them then, "Giant Drug." Hey, is the guitar-shaped Sealy on the tour bus yet?

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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