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Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted
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Character

Bart the evil executive

40 comics feature this characterNewest firstMost popularOldest first

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Popularity rank 26 #315. Returning the favor

November 25, 2009

KEVIN: I'm here to return the favor and screw YOU, Bart. Listen to our hit song, "Spiral Away"...
MUSIC: Spiral awaaaaaaaay, I lost myself, I fell until I couldn't fall...
KEVIN: And listen to our first album, Mega-Tuned to one note per song...
MEGA-TUNE: Spiral. Away. I. Lost. Myself. I. Fell. Until. I. Couldn't. Fall.
BART: They... sound the SAME.
KEVIN: YEAH... That's RIGHT...
KEVIN: MY MUSIC IS DERIVATIVE OF ITSELF!!
BART: Holy GOATS...

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Popularity rank 27 #314. Kevin drops in to Hancock

November 23, 2009

BART: KEVIN! How's my favorite pop star doing?
KEVIN: I'LL tell you how I'm doing, Bart.... I'm getting SCREWED by this MEGA-TUNE catshit.
KEVIN: And since it is YOUR fault, I'm now going to slow roast YOUR dick, poach YOUR nuts, and serve it to YOU with a fucking chorizo polenta on the SIDE!!
KEVIN: THAT'S how I'm DOING!!
BART: And how's Linda?
KEVIN: LINDA IS FINE!!

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Popularity rank 28 #313. The Holy Grail

November 20, 2009

KURT: GRAPEFRUIT! PHOSPHORESCENCE! CARDIGAN! There. I just wrote three new one-note songs.
BART: This is the life, eh Joel?
BART: We've found the HOLY GRAIL...
BART: We figured out how the music industry can make MONEY again...
BART: All we had to do was remove the MUSICIANS.

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Popularity rank 29 #312. Writing new one-note songs

November 19, 2009

MEGA-TUNE: Motherlover.
KURT: Und dat's the Mega-Tune version of "Ave Maria".
BART: The great thing about Mega-Tune is once consumers are trained to like it, we can stop using existing stuff and just create new one-note songs.
BART: Kurt, sing him the gem you wrote this morning.
KURT: OATMEAL!
KURT: I mean, you know, I'm still playing vit it.
JOEL: Haunting.
BART: Ooo. I like that. Did you just write that, Joel?

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Popularity rank 30 #304. Consumers don’t like decisions

November 4, 2009

TESTER: So which version of the song do you like more?
GREG: I DUNNO...
BART: Consumers don't LIKE decisions, Joel. They want us to TELL them what's right. THEY NEED US.
JOEL: You talk like they're HELPLESS. They aren't scared little CHILDREN, sir.
GREG: Um... I... I have to go potty.
BART: AREN'T they, Joel? AREN'T they?
TESTER: Sir, put that DOWN. Sir... SIR, get that OUT of your mouth! Drop it... DROP it!

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Keep reading

Most popular comics…

  • 1 JOHN: It's like, she was such a huge part of my life, so it's not just like my girlfriend left me, but my whole life.

    After the breakup

    2 2 Apr 5, ’05

  • 2 SCRAPPER: Get your manager. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS arts and crafts.
JOHN: I GET art, lady. I AM an artist.

    I am an artist

    1 4 Mar 13, ’10

  • 3 DAN: So let's say I have this cute young guitar student... she's not even THAT young... is it... I mean... is it cool for a teacher to ask out a student?

    Teacher/student

    0 8 May 12, ’08

  • 4 SUBWAY WORKER: Sir, I asked if you want the meal or just the sandwich.
BRETT: I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW.

    No James Blunt at the Subway

    1 3 Aug 5, ’06

  • 5 SCRAPPER: Let me show you the ART of scrapbooking. You have any photos in your wallet?
JOHN: I got one of my mom.

    The art of scrapbooking

    1 2 Mar 15, ’10

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

Get the PDF→

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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