Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bart the evil executive

40 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 21 #41. How to saturate the media

September 27, 2005

BART: I want total media saturation for the Jumpstart Malady CD. I want posters everywhere. Posters on billboards. On bus stops. On baby carriages.

BART: I want ads on radio. On TV. On the Internet. I want a new form of information transfer developed, and I want ads on that. Saturation, Joel.

BART: I want farmers in remote areas of Chad, who've never before heard recorded music, to have the release date of this album burned into their sun-soaked, 3rd world brains.

BART: Also... try to get them on Leno maybe.... Call me when you get in.

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Popularity rank 22 #38. Album leakage

September 6, 2005

BART: The album leaked!? Who leaked it!? Sue 'em, Joel! Squeeze 'em 'til it hurts!
JOEL: Once the files are out there, sir, it's nearly impossible to tell who leaked them.

BART: Then who's downloading it? Sue them! Drain the bastards dry!!
JOEL: Eh, with these newer P2P file sharing networks... that's pretty hard to track.

BART: Well, God damn it, Joel....

BART: Can we just sue the Internet in general then?
JOEL: Legal's looking into it, sir....

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Popularity rank 23 #37. Notes from the label

August 30, 2005

BART: This new Jumpstart Malady single, Joel, I hate it. HATE IT. Sounds too... too SPLUMPFY.
JOEL: Oh... OK, I... I, uh, what... what does that... MEAN?

BART: I don't know what it means, Joel, because it's a word I just made up, but I'll be damned if this label puts out music with that level of splumpf on it!! So fix it!!

JOEL: I... (sigh) yeah, yes, sure. It's... it's fixed.
BART: Good.

JOEL: A-and that's... "s-p-l-..."?
BART: I don't know how to spell it, Joel!!!

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Popularity rank 24 #24. Tell me what I want to hear

May 24, 2005

JOEL: The song is fresh; it's hip. But it still has those great Malady hooks.
BART: You know what I want to hear, Joel. Tell me.

JOEL: And Kevin's lyrics are really solid. He's coming from a real emotional place now. People will feel this one.
BART: Joel... come on, Joel. Tell me what I want to hear.

JOEL: (sigh) And yes, there will be titties in the video....
BART: JACKPOT!

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Popularity rank 25 #316. How’d you do it?

November 27, 2009

JOEL: SO his albums, Mega-Tuned to one note per track, recreate his biggest hit song. ...SO WHAT?
BART: SO he still retains copyright on the Mega-Tune version.

KEVIN: So YOU still owe me my royalties.
BART: Meaning Mega-Tune... is USELESS. Jumpstart Malady songs were the only way we'd've made any real money.

BART: How'd you DO it, Kevin? How'd you make music so sonically BORING that it simplifies recursively into itself? How'd you write pop songs that PERFECTLY?

KEVIN: By ACCIDENT!!!
BART: Inadvertently brilliant... Yes, that IS your M.O.

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