Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bart the evil executive

40 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 31 #303. Megatuning “Viva La Vida”

November 3, 2009

TESTER: Greg, we're going to play two versions of a song, and we want to know which one you like better, OK?
GREG: OK.

COLDPLAY: For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name, Never an honest word, but that was when I ruled the world

MEGA-TUNE: Overwrought.

GREG: Hmm. The second one was definitely... SHORTER...
BART: Write down that subject finds Mega-Tuned version is "PEPPY" and "FUN".

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Popularity rank 32 #302. Sixth sense for pop

November 2, 2009

JOEL: His sense of pop music is unCANNY. When asked to list songs he liked, he recited Clear Channel's ENTIRE Adult Album Alternative playlist.

JOEL: We ask him his favorite song every five minutes, and he's somehow able to always list the current top single on iTunes at that EXACT moment.

TESTER: What about now?
GREG: "Fireflies" by Owl City... no, wait, NO... actually it's "Replay" by Iyaz.

BART: FAScinating...
GREG: Wait, NOW it's the Glee cast version of "Alone". NO... "Take a Bow"! NO!! "ALONE"!!!

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Popularity rank 33 #299. Getting focus groupers

October 30, 2009

JOEL: I've never run a focus group, sir. How do we get participants?
BART: The American way, Joel. With market forces.

BART: We bribe them. Vouchers, gift certificates, free food...
JOEL: Doesn't that result in overly positive opinions?

BART: Exactly!
GREG: Hi, I heard something about a Frostie coupon?

BART: Yes sir! Just sign this release form without reading it.
GREG: No PROBLEM. Oooo, free pens!!

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Popularity rank 34 #297. Memorable

October 28, 2009

JOEL: Well, sir, screwing songwriters aside... if we reduce songs to a single word and note, won't consumers... not... like that?

BART: On the contrary, studies show consumers favor songs with simple, memorable melodies and lyrics.

MEGA-TUNE: FELLATIO!

BART: And you can't get simpler or more memorable than that, Joel!
KURT: Dat vas Little Vayne. "Lollipop".

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Popularity rank 35 #296. Songwriters

October 27, 2009

MEGA-TUNE: STATUTORY!
KURT: Dat was early Taylor Shvift song.
JOEL: Ugh, sir, what's the point of reducing these songs to single notes?

BART: Joel, each year our label loses billions. Why? SONGWRITERS. Due to arcane copyright laws, they rake in cash, hand over fist.

BART: Do you know they sometimes get paid almost THREE CENTS per dollar!? Just because they "wrote" the song. DisGUSTing.

BART: Well, Joel... you can't copyright a note.
MEGA-TUNE: MONEY!
KURT: Dat was dat Pink Floyd song.

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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