Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

John the egomaniac singer

106 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 66 #152. Contest For New Bands

September 25, 2006

JOHN: So guys: gig this Friday. A contest for new bands.
CHRISTINA: We've been a band for 8 years, John.

JOHN: We've got to bring 10 people, so plug this bitch.
RONI: A bringer show? Jesus....
DAN: How much money is the prize?

JOHN: The prize, Dan, is a whole lot of the most valuable currency in the music business: EXPOSURE.

RONI: And of course, the title of "City's Most Gullible Band".
JOHN: Oh, hey, the entry fee's $150, so... pony up.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 67 #132. Forced Flyering

July 26, 2006

MO: Show tonight at Sin-e...
JOHN: Man, your heart's not in this, is it? Someone else in the band make you do this? Your singer, I bet.

JOHN: FUCK him, man. He's USING you. Let him do the SHIT work for once. Go live your LIFE, dude.
MO: FUCK yeah! Screw this! Thanks, man!

(Mo drops his flyers and walks off.)

JOHN: Show tonight at the Orange Bear.
GETHARD: Thanks.

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Popularity rank 68 #131. The Eliminator

July 24, 2006

DAN: So the chorus is E, then A, then "The Eliminator."
JOHN: "The Eliminator."

DAN: Yeah, it's a new chord I invented.
JOHN: How do you know it's new?

DAN: Well, it's not in the book.
JOHN: The little laminated pamphlet that came with your guitar? C'mon: be professional about this shit, Dan.

JOHN: You have to look on Wikipedia, too.
DAN: Anyway... then it's E, Bminor, "The Buzzard's Gambit," and back to E.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 69 #130. The Ninth Encore

July 21, 2006

DAN: Hey... the first encore was pretty good, right?
JOHN: Oh sure. Our acoustic cover of "War Pigs" was transcen-friggin'-dental.

DAN: The ninth encore was a little much though, huh?
JOHN: Hard to say.

(The lights go out.)

DAN: I mean, I sort of liked playing with the house lights on.
JOHN: Hey, when d'you think someone'll be back to unlock the place? Noon?

1 view Like

Popularity rank 70 #128. Putting Names In A Love Song

July 17, 2006

DAN: I dunno, John. I think if you're writing a song about someone you love, you gotta put her name in the song.
JOHN: Yeah.

JOHN: Man, but NOTHING rhymes with "Goldfrapp."

A pause.

DAN: "Mole... plaque"?
JOHN: Slant rhymes are for pussies, Dan.

1 view Like

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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