Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

John the egomaniac singer

106 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 51 #319. Gettin’ cashflow positive

December 4, 2009

DAN: This band needs to be gettin' cashflow positive. QUICK.
RONI: Why don't we sell our demo on our web?
CHRISTINA: Well...

JOHN: No no NO... DANGEROUS... That demo'll BitTorrent in MINUTES!
RONI: I don't think you understand BitTorrent.

JOHN: And we'll be SUED for infringement! And PIRATES will sell FREE COPIES on the STREETS!

RONI: Nor do you understand copyright law, piracy or... basic COMMERCE.
JOHN: Within DAYS we'll be in PRISON selling APPLES for CIGARETTES!

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Popularity rank 52 #232. Hit more weird notes

April 13, 2009

RONI: You mean like... this?
JOHN: YES! Yeah. That.

RONI: OK, so when you say you want me to "hit more weird notes" in my solos, you actually want me to use chromatics to create melodic tension.
JOHN: I guess.

RONI: (sigh) This would be so much easier if you guys had a strong music theory background.
JOHN: Yeah...

JOHN: Or, I mean, if you DIDN'T.

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Popularity rank 53 #216. John’s annual review

March 8, 2009

JOHN: Why is my mom even here AT ALL?
CHRISTINA: You said that I could run your annual review HOWEVER I wanted.

JOHN: But you didn't even invite ME, Christina!
CHRISTINA: This is how I review students at my SCHOOL, John.

CHRISTINA: Mrs. Romero, he gets very difficult during long rehearsal. Any tips?
JOHN'S MOM: Well, my Johnny gets VERY fussy when he's hungry.
JOHN: I am NOT! Mom! QUIT it!

CHRISTINA: Interesting...
JOHN'S MOM: So I always keep a sugar cookie in my purse...
JOHN: OOO, gimme...

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Popularity rank 54 #215. Dan’s annual review

March 5, 2009

JOHN: All right, Dan, time for your annual review. I've graded your performance in the band in a variety of categories. Have a look...

DAN: Whoa, wait, what? "Falling Down on Stage Right in the Middle of Our God Damn Songs" is a CATEGORY?
JOHN: Yes. Yes, it is.

JOHN: Do you dispute your score of "OFTEN, IF NOT CONSTANTLY"?

DAN: I do not...
JOHN: Moving on then...

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Popularity rank 55 #214. Roni’s annual review

March 4, 2009

JOHN: OK, NAME: Roni Videtta... official TITLE: lead guitarist...
RONI: John, I'm not doing an annual review. We're not a real company.

JOHN: So we'll be evaluating you in several categories, OK?
RONI: We just made the band a corporation to save money on taxes.

JOHN: First: "TECHNICAL PROFICIENCY". I have you down for a 4 out of 5.
RONI: I put up with enough stuff like this at my day job, so-

RONI: I would argue I'm at LEAST a 4.5.
JOHN: Next up... "SHOWING CLEAVAGE AT SHOWS", an area you could really improve in...

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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