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Bassist Wanted

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Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted
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Character

John the egomaniac singer

106 comics feature this characterNewest firstMost popularOldest first

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Popularity rank 51 #132. Forced Flyering

July 26, 2006

MO: Show tonight at Sin-e...
JOHN: Man, your heart's not in this, is it? Someone else in the band make you do this? Your singer, I bet.
JOHN: FUCK him, man. He's USING you. Let him do the SHIT work for once. Go live your LIFE, dude.
MO: FUCK yeah! Screw this! Thanks, man!
(Mo drops his flyers and walks off.)
JOHN: Show tonight at the Orange Bear.
GETHARD: Thanks.

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Popularity rank 52 #131. The Eliminator

July 24, 2006

DAN: So the chorus is E, then A, then "The Eliminator."
JOHN: "The Eliminator."
DAN: Yeah, it's a new chord I invented.
JOHN: How do you know it's new?
DAN: Well, it's not in the book.
JOHN: The little laminated pamphlet that came with your guitar? C'mon: be professional about this shit, Dan.
JOHN: You have to look on Wikipedia, too.
DAN: Anyway... then it's E, Bminor, "The Buzzard's Gambit," and back to E.

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Popularity rank 53 #130. The Ninth Encore

July 21, 2006

DAN: Hey... the first encore was pretty good, right?
JOHN: Oh sure. Our acoustic cover of "War Pigs" was transcen-friggin'-dental.
DAN: The ninth encore was a little much though, huh?
JOHN: Hard to say.
(The lights go out.)
DAN: I mean, I sort of liked playing with the house lights on.
JOHN: Hey, when d'you think someone'll be back to unlock the place? Noon?

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Popularity rank 54 #128. Putting Names In A Love Song

July 17, 2006

DAN: I dunno, John. I think if you're writing a song about someone you love, you gotta put her name in the song.
JOHN: Yeah.
JOHN: Man, but NOTHING rhymes with "Goldfrapp."
A pause.
DAN: "Mole... plaque"?
JOHN: Slant rhymes are for pussies, Dan.

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Popularity rank 55 #111. Shutting off the MySpace page

February 24, 2006

JOHN: OK, band meeting. I'm shutting off our MySpace account.
RONI: Thank GOD.
JOHN: It was tearing the Ambulance Men apart. And distracting us from more important things.
RONI: Like, actually practicing ever?
JOHN: Also... this 15-year-old sent us a... photo of herself, and I got really creeped out.
DAN: What was she--
JOHN: I don't wanna talk about it.
CHRISTINA: MySpace IS creepy... feels like the whole site's covered with a clear, sticky film....

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Keep reading

Most popular comics…

  • 1 JOHN: It's like, she was such a huge part of my life, so it's not just like my girlfriend left me, but my whole life.

    After the breakup

    2 3 Apr 5, ’05

  • 2 SCRAPPER: Get your manager. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS arts and crafts.
JOHN: I GET art, lady. I AM an artist.

    I am an artist

    1 4 Mar 13, ’10

  • 3 DAN: So let's say I have this cute young guitar student... she's not even THAT young... is it... I mean... is it cool for a teacher to ask out a student?

    Teacher/student

    0 9 May 12, ’08

  • 4 SUBWAY WORKER: Sir, I asked if you want the meal or just the sandwich.
BRETT: I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW.

    No James Blunt at the Subway

    1 4 Aug 5, ’06

  • 5 SCRAPPER: Let me show you the ART of scrapbooking. You have any photos in your wallet?
JOHN: I got one of my mom.

    The art of scrapbooking

    1 2 Mar 15, ’10

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

Get the PDF→

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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