Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

John the egomaniac singer

106 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 41 #337. Customer service

January 15, 2010

JOHN: … and I'm best suited for, oh, customer relations.
KINKO'S BOSS: Well, that's perfect, dipshit. I'll put you on some of our BEST customers.

DAN: WHOA...
KINKO'S BOSS: That's RIGHT, Lepp. Your little idiot SINGER friend is now an Assistant Customer Service Rep…

KINKO'S BOSS: ...in charge of SCRAPBOOKERS!

KINKO'S BOSS: A HA HA HA HA HA! Heh... ..
DAN: That's, like, a REALLY shitty role, man.
JOHN: Yeah, I GATHERED, Dan.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 42 #328. People heard us

December 25, 2009

RONI: OK, so the little spike in web traffic didn't get us any new fans, but 100,000 people listened to our songs. People HEARD us. Isn't that the point of ART?

JOHN: ART? Who said anything about fuckin' ART?!

JOHN: I am in this band to get FAMOUS or get LAID.

RONI: Barf...
JOHN: And I don't care what order that comes in, Roni!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 43 #327. Traffic spike effect

December 23, 2009

CHRISTINA: Well, our site's traffic has returned to normal, and it looks like about 100,000 people downloaded our demo.

RONI: That's AMAZON!
JOHN: What's the point? They CAME and they LEFT. We got ZERO mailing list signups...

JOHN: And we sold ZERO t-shirts.
CHRISTINA: Actually we sold TWO t-shirts.
DAN: No, I bought those two.

JOHN: Great! We sold NEGATIVE two t-shirts...
DAN: Hey, is there a way for you to not, like, cash my Paypal thing until Friday?

1 view Like

Popularity rank 44 #326. Whom to damn

December 21, 2009

CHRISTINA: Looks like our host shut our site down due to the traffic spike from people downloading our demo. We owe $300.
JOHN: Bah! DAMN these fuckin' MUSIC pirates!

CHRISTINA: No one pirated anything. Our hosting company is just charging bandwidth fees.
JOHN: DAMN the HOSTED companies then!

CHRISTINA: No, those are just the terms of our fairly standard contract.
JOHN: Then just... DAMN the transitional period the music industry is currently in!

JOHN: I WANT SOMETHING MORE TANGIBLE TO BE ANGRY AT!!
CHRISTINA: I know, sweetie. I know...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 45 #325. Site’s down

December 18, 2009

CHRISTINA: Hmm... our site's down. Too many people are trying to download our demo mp3s.
JOHN: WHAT!? What's the fucking point of that?

JOHN: When our website WORKS, no one LOOKS at it, and as soon as people WANT to look at it, it friggin' shuts OFF? Who's our hosting company? O'HENRY?!

Silence.

JOHN: Yeah, that's right... I JUST MADE AN O'HENRY REFERENCE!
RONI: Today is a weird day.
CHRISTINA: Yes.

1 view Like

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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