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Bassist Wanted

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Bassist Wanted
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Character

John the egomaniac singer

106 comics feature this characterNewest firstMost popularOldest first

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Popularity rank 61 #103. MySpace influences

February 14, 2006

JOHN: OK... then MySpace has a spot for our influences.
CHRISTINA: How about John Adams?
DAN: John Adams?
CHRISTINA: Yeah. I read a biography of him last month. It's really influenced me.
JOHN: I'm not putting John Adams, Christina.
CHRISTINA: OK... but he's one of the most unheralded heros of the American revolution.
JOHN: Great! But how many chords did he know?
RONI: How many chords do you know?
JOHN: I know some chords!
DAN: How 'bout Frank Zappa? He was a revolutionary sorta dude.
CHRISTINA: Zappa knew some chords.

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Popularity rank 62 #102. Signout, refresh

February 13, 2006

SOUND EFFECT: Signout.
SOUND EFFECT: Refresh.
SOUND EFFECT: Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
JOHN: Gotta keep our MySpace profile views up....

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Popularity rank 63 #101. Plugging parties on MySpace

February 10, 2006

JOHN: You can't post your party on the myspace page, Dan. It's for band business only.
DAN: You posted last week about your brother's barbeque.
JOHN: Totes different situaish, dude. That... that was an official Ambulance Men CD release party.
DAN: What... that one CD you gave Gary?
JOHN: One CD can be enough, Dan! File-sharing! Word-of-mouth! Look at the Arctic Monkeys!
DAN: But... it was just a mix CD of Elvis Costello songs.
JOHN: (sigh) OK, look, Dan... your parties tend to be lametown. And it... it could reflect poorly on the band.
DAN: No, no! I told you: No Cranium this year!

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Popularity rank 64 #100. MySpace friends list

February 9, 2006

RONI: She should be able to add her husband as a friend on our myspace page, John.
JOHN: No, look, we gotta keep our list looking hip and young.
RONI: And female and half-naked.
JOHN: Hey, I don't send friend requests, OK? All these people on here sought us out.
RONI: Really? So Brooke Burke and the Suicide Girls are big fans of all our shitty demos you posted?
JOHN: Maybe they are!
CHRISTINA: John, I'm not even a fan of those demos.
RONI: No, he's right, Christina! I bet they all get together and have naked listening parties!

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Popularity rank 65 #99. Explaining the MySpace page

February 8, 2006

JOHN: So here's the MySpace page I built for the band.
RONI: You know, we already had one, John.
JOHN: These're pictures of the band.
RONI: That's why you had to get the username AmbulanceMen2 instead of just AmbulanceMen.
JOHN: And these people are our "friends".
RONI: Yeah, I know. I set up our other one, John.
JOHN: You see, Roni, MySpace is an online social "network"....
RONI: Yeah, thanks, I under-- Oh gross. You know you can add people other than porn stars, you douche.

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Most popular comics…

  • 1 JOHN: It's like, she was such a huge part of my life, so it's not just like my girlfriend left me, but my whole life.

    After the breakup

    2 3 Apr 5, ’05

  • 2 SCRAPPER: Get your manager. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS arts and crafts.
JOHN: I GET art, lady. I AM an artist.

    I am an artist

    1 4 Mar 13, ’10

  • 3 DAN: So let's say I have this cute young guitar student... she's not even THAT young... is it... I mean... is it cool for a teacher to ask out a student?

    Teacher/student

    0 9 May 12, ’08

  • 4 SUBWAY WORKER: Sir, I asked if you want the meal or just the sandwich.
BRETT: I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW.

    No James Blunt at the Subway

    1 4 Aug 5, ’06

  • 5 SCRAPPER: Let me show you the ART of scrapbooking. You have any photos in your wallet?
JOHN: I got one of my mom.

    The art of scrapbooking

    1 2 Mar 15, ’10

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

Get the PDF→

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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