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Bassist Wanted

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Bassist Wanted

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Bassist Wanted
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Character

John the egomaniac singer

106 comics feature this characterNewest firstMost popularOldest first

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Popularity rank 76 #78. A thousand crappy works of art

November 22, 2005

JOHN: Let's attack it like this: rather than put pressure on ourselves to try and write the perfect song, let's just commit to writing one new song every day.
JOHN: I've heard that any artist has, like, a thousand crappy works of art in them, and the sooner you get those out, you know, the sooner you do the awesome stuff.
DAN: That's cool. So, like, every bad song we write is actually helpful.
JOHN: Yeah, exactly.
DAN: So "Cathartic Target Practice" was like the most helpful song ever.
JOHN: "Cathartic Target Practice" is a misunderstood... look, let's just get started...

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Popularity rank 77 #77. We need a new song

November 21, 2005

JOHN: We need a new song. A song that gets on the radio. And people request it at all our shows. And we play it. As the cold opener or as a mid-set adrenaline boost.
JOHN: And then we think, "We're more than just one song, dammit!" And our next album is a total departure, all noodley and instrumental, and critics pan it. And it bombs.
JOHN: That's what we need, man.
DAN: Yeah.
DAN: We could also probably use better amps.
JOHN: Oh yeah, totebags. Yeah, these Rogue 120s suck ass.

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Popularity rank 78 #61. Rehearsal day solution

October 28, 2005

DAN: OK, so it's settled. We'll keep band rehearsal on Wednesday nights. Except when there's a new "Lost" on. Then we practice on Mondays.
DAN: Unless it's the first Monday of the month. Then we go on Thursday. But if Roni's little sister has a soccer game, we do Friday.
CHRISTINA: If I'm not out-of-town.
DAN: Yeah. If you are, we either cancel, or we do three separate half-hour rehearsals the following week.
RONI: Wouldn't it have just been easier to break up the band?
DAN: We also voted 3-to-1 that "Cathartic Target Practice" is a totebags lame song.
JOHN: It's a GREAT song.

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Popularity rank 79 #60. Roni sets priorities

October 27, 2005

RONI: No way, our rehearsal can't end at 3am. I'll be dead at work the next day.
JOHN: A ha! So we see where your priorities are, Roni!
RONI: Yes, John! I prioritize the job that I LOVE, that pays my RENT, over a hobby of mine that I ENJOY but that doesn't CONSUME me like it does YOU, you SELF-ABSORBED, CLUELESS ASSHOLE!
SOUND EFFECT: SLAM!
DAN: Whoa. She used the H-word.
JOHN: "H-... hobby"?

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Popularity rank 80 #59. Married people can’t do weekends

October 26, 2005

CHRISTINA: I... I can't rehearse on Fridays.
RONI: You married people are so protective of your weekends.
JOHN: Heh. Maybe that's when their sex is scheduled.
DAN: Heh.
CHRISTINA: N-no... the only scheduled sex we have is after these band rehearsals. Playing drums sort of... sort of "gets me going."
DAN: Christina.... Ew.
DAN: Well, rehearsal on any day feels weird now....
CHRISTINA: I think it's that double foot pedal.
JOHN: Roni.... Does she stare at my butt while I sing?
RONI: No one EVER stares at your butt, John.

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Most popular comics…

  • 1 JOHN: It's like, she was such a huge part of my life, so it's not just like my girlfriend left me, but my whole life.

    After the breakup

    2 2 Apr 5, ’05

  • 2 SUBWAY WORKER: Sir, I asked if you want the meal or just the sandwich.
BRETT: I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW.

    No James Blunt at the Subway

    1 3 Aug 5, ’06

  • 3 DAN: So let's say I have this cute young guitar student... she's not even THAT young... is it... I mean... is it cool for a teacher to ask out a student?

    Teacher/student

    0 7 May 12, ’08

  • 4 SCRAPPER: Get your manager. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS arts and crafts.
JOHN: I GET art, lady. I AM an artist.

    I am an artist

    0 4 Mar 13, ’10

  • 5 PETER: Well, for what it's worth, I think adopting that hot 19-year-old orphan was, though CREEPY, sort of NOBLE.

    Creepy but noble

    0 3 Apr 30, ’10

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

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The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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