Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Joel the naive A&R guy

60 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 31 #67. The Wrong Approach

November 7, 2005

BART: Joel, it occurs to me... I'm always looking for bands who're similar to existing popular bands. Maybe... it's the
wrong approach.

JOEL: Sir! I've felt this way for years! We need bands that sound
different! New sounds! We-
BART: What? No. No, what we need is more accurate copies.

BART: We need human clones, Joel.

JOEL: Come... come again, sir?
BART: Look, here's a number of a guy I know down at GeniTECH....

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Popularity rank 32 #40. Big fan at a record label

September 20, 2005

JOEL: Hi, this is Joel Dever with Hancock Records. Is this Stony from the Humble Bees?
STONY: (silent)

JOEL: Wow, can I just say, I am such a big fan, my first kiss was actually in the backseat of a Jetta listening to "She's a L'il Kinda Mine".

JOEL: Ha, yeah, the biggest... so... anyway....

JOEL: I'm sort of calling to inform you that my label's filing a cease and desist order against you guys....

1 view Like

Popularity rank 33 #39. Contract fine print

September 13, 2005

JANOS: Wait, Joel, this contract says we have to change the name of the band.
JOEL: Yes, but you get to choose the name from the list on pg. 13, I fought for that....

DUSTIN: And we lose all rights to all our songs and recordings!
JOEL: You're better off. Believe me. Free from the shackles of "rights"!

JANOS: Wait, we get zero royalties?!
JOEL: Well... yes, but you're missing the big picture....

RAVI: It says I have to: "Stop being Indian."
JOEL: Yes, the label is giving Ravi the opportunity to explore other cultures....

1 view Like

Popularity rank 34 #38. Album leakage

September 6, 2005

BART: The album leaked!? Who leaked it!? Sue 'em, Joel! Squeeze 'em 'til it hurts!
JOEL: Once the files are out there, sir, it's nearly impossible to tell who leaked them.

BART: Then who's downloading it? Sue them! Drain the bastards dry!!
JOEL: Eh, with these newer P2P file sharing networks... that's pretty hard to track.

BART: Well, God damn it, Joel....

BART: Can we just sue the Internet in general then?
JOEL: Legal's looking into it, sir....

1 view Like

Popularity rank 35 #37. Notes from the label

August 30, 2005

BART: This new Jumpstart Malady single, Joel, I hate it. HATE IT. Sounds too... too SPLUMPFY.
JOEL: Oh... OK, I... I, uh, what... what does that... MEAN?

BART: I don't know what it means, Joel, because it's a word I just made up, but I'll be damned if this label puts out music with that level of splumpf on it!! So fix it!!

JOEL: I... (sigh) yeah, yes, sure. It's... it's fixed.
BART: Good.

JOEL: A-and that's... "s-p-l-..."?
BART: I don't know how to spell it, Joel!!!

1 view Like

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

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Also by Porter Mason

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