Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Joel the naive A&R guy

60 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 26 #207. Human slavery

February 10, 2009

BART: Joel, can we... sell all our musicians into human slavery?
JOEL: Legally? Yes.

JOEL: They're under very, VERY exploitative contracts.

JOEL: But, ah, morally speaking, we probably... shouldn't.
BART: Yes, I suppose that's right.

BART: What if it's just the trance artists?

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Popularity rank 27 #202. Taking more chances

January 28, 2009

BART: Joel, we need to take more CHANCES at this label.
JOEL: Wow, sir... YES! Let's scour the Web and local clubs for new talent!

BART: We need to give people more OPPORTUNITIES! Find artists who people have COUNTED OUT!
JOEL: YES! I even have some lists here of unsigned bands who-

BART: Joel, we need to give Katharine McPhee a SECOND ALBUM!!

JOEL: Dear God... he... he's got the MCPHEEVER again...
BART: And if necessary a third and fourth one! That girl's GOT something!

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Popularity rank 28 #136. Summer intern’s first task

August 4, 2006

JOEL: So, welcome to Hancock Records. Your first project this summer is helping me brainstorm ways to sneak loopholes in our musician's contracts.

JOEL: Now, so far we've tried invisible ink, 1pt fonts, hidden rebuses....
INTERN: But this is... I... I wanted to work here because I love music and musicians.

INTERN: I... don't feel so well....

JOEL: Hey, Tim. We've... got another intern going Code 32 in the 18th floor bathroom.
OTHERTIM: God damn it... (sigh) OK. I'll get a mop.

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Popularity rank 29 #76. The Future Is Not In Cloning

November 18, 2005

JOEL: Sir, your friend at GeniTECH has concluded cloning bands to create hits just isn't practical. For one thing, there's a 20-year lag time while the clones mature.

BART: Well... I guess it was sort of crazy, wasn't it? To think the future of music lay in human cloning?
JOEL: Heh... yes, sir.

BART: When clearly, from what you're saying, the future of music lies in a combination of cloning and time travel.

BART: Now, here's a number of a guy I know at Wormhole Depot...
JOEL: Sir, how do you know these people?

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Popularity rank 30 #68. Cloning is not instantaneous

November 8, 2005

DR. CARY: Hancock Records wants GeniTECH to do what exactly?
JOEL: Well, my boss, he... this'll sound silly, he wants to make clones of current popular bands.

DR. CARY: Ha ha, well, Mr. Dever, I appreciate your boss's ambition, but human cloning is a new science, and for starters, it's not instantaneous.

DR. CARY: Even if I were to make a clone today, it wouldn't be a mature adult for 18 years. We simply don't have the capability to do what you're describing.

JOEL: Of course, sorry to waste your time, I--
DR. CARY: What we do have are fully grown clones of every popular band from 1983 to 1985. Come, I'll show you....

1 view Like

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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