Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Joel the naive A&R guy

60 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 16 #354. Max the backing track

March 20, 2010

JOEL: For this track, let's turn the Twilight kid totally down and max out the backing vocals.
ROCCO: I already was, man.

ROCCO: I get what you're doing, man, secretly recording the songs of this backing band. It's cool of you to give these kids a shot.
JOEL: Oh, uh, thanks...

JOEL: So wait, if Ayok's turned down, how am I still hearing him? Isn't this room soundproof?
ROCCO: It IS soundproof.

ROCCO: It is NOT shit proof...
JOEL: Goddammit, he's humping the amps again... Ayok! NO! Down! DOWN!!

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Popularity rank 17 #353. We’re gonna get you recorded

March 19, 2010

JOEL: OK, we're gonna get you guys recorded. I hired you as session players for the Twilight kid's new record.
JAMES: We don't know his songs.

JOEL: Neither does he. We're just gonna record YOUR songs in between his bullshit...
JAMES: He won't notice?

JOEL: Hey Ayok, we're recording these guys' songs today. Also, we'll be shoving four or five needles into your peehole.
AYOK: Svnse wrfl...

JOEL: He seems OK with it.
JAMES: Dammit! He's chewing through my mandolin again!

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Popularity rank 18 #317. The dream is dead

November 30, 2009

BART: The dream of beautiful one-note Mega-Tuned music has died, Joel. Back to STUPID, complicated multi-note songs, with their STUPID "melodies" and "harmonies"... Ugh...

MUSIC: JUMP!

JOEL: Playing one last Mega-Tuned song for good measure, sir?
BART: Oh, no no...

BART: No, I just looooooove love love those Pointer Sisters, Joel.
BART: For my love! JUMP IN!

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Popularity rank 19 #308. Albums reduce to songs

November 13, 2009

KURT: I haf found an interesting artifact of using Mega-Tune.
JOEL: OK.

KURT: Many albums, reduced to one note per song, seem to form new songs with the notes. For example...

MEGA-TUNE: You. Are. My. Sunshine. My. Only. Sunshine. You. Make. Me. Happy. When. Skies. Are. Gray.

JOEL: Whoa, what album is that?
KURT: "The Best of the Velvet Underground".

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Popularity rank 20 #299. Getting focus groupers

October 30, 2009

JOEL: I've never run a focus group, sir. How do we get participants?
BART: The American way, Joel. With market forces.

BART: We bribe them. Vouchers, gift certificates, free food...
JOEL: Doesn't that result in overly positive opinions?

BART: Exactly!
GREG: Hi, I heard something about a Frostie coupon?

BART: Yes sir! Just sign this release form without reading it.
GREG: No PROBLEM. Oooo, free pens!!

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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