Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Joel the naive A&R guy

60 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 46 #303. Megatuning “Viva La Vida”

November 3, 2009

TESTER: Greg, we're going to play two versions of a song, and we want to know which one you like better, OK?
GREG: OK.

COLDPLAY: For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name, Never an honest word, but that was when I ruled the world

MEGA-TUNE: Overwrought.

GREG: Hmm. The second one was definitely... SHORTER...
BART: Write down that subject finds Mega-Tuned version is "PEPPY" and "FUN".

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Popularity rank 47 #302. Sixth sense for pop

November 2, 2009

JOEL: His sense of pop music is unCANNY. When asked to list songs he liked, he recited Clear Channel's ENTIRE Adult Album Alternative playlist.

JOEL: We ask him his favorite song every five minutes, and he's somehow able to always list the current top single on iTunes at that EXACT moment.

TESTER: What about now?
GREG: "Fireflies" by Owl City... no, wait, NO... actually it's "Replay" by Iyaz.

BART: FAScinating...
GREG: Wait, NOW it's the Glee cast version of "Alone". NO... "Take a Bow"! NO!! "ALONE"!!!

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Popularity rank 48 #297. Memorable

October 28, 2009

JOEL: Well, sir, screwing songwriters aside... if we reduce songs to a single word and note, won't consumers... not... like that?

BART: On the contrary, studies show consumers favor songs with simple, memorable melodies and lyrics.

MEGA-TUNE: FELLATIO!

BART: And you can't get simpler or more memorable than that, Joel!
KURT: Dat vas Little Vayne. "Lollipop".

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Popularity rank 49 #296. Songwriters

October 27, 2009

MEGA-TUNE: STATUTORY!
KURT: Dat was early Taylor Shvift song.
JOEL: Ugh, sir, what's the point of reducing these songs to single notes?

BART: Joel, each year our label loses billions. Why? SONGWRITERS. Due to arcane copyright laws, they rake in cash, hand over fist.

BART: Do you know they sometimes get paid almost THREE CENTS per dollar!? Just because they "wrote" the song. DisGUSTing.

BART: Well, Joel... you can't copyright a note.
MEGA-TUNE: MONEY!
KURT: Dat was dat Pink Floyd song.

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Popularity rank 50 #295. A single vord

October 26, 2009

KURT: Vit Mega-Tune, we not only simplify music, but also lyrics.

KURT: Each song reduces to a single vord. Observe.

MEGA-TUNE: AMERICA! LOVE! PENIS!

KURT: Dat was de National Anthem, "Something" by de Beatles und, of course, Aerosmith's "Dude Who Look Like de Lady".
JOEL: Oof.

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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