Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Joel the naive A&R guy

60 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 51 #292. Each day in the industry

October 16, 2009

BART: Joel, each day you work in the music industry, a piece of your soul DIES. It hurts a lot at first, but as time passes, you feel it less and less.

BART: And in a certain amount of time, your soul will diminish to trace amounts and stop being an obstacle to your work.

BART: I call it your "INDUSTRY HALF-LIFE".

JOEL: Are you saying my soul is like... radioactive WASTE, sir?
BART: It's not UNlike it, Joel.

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Popularity rank 52 #291. Auto-Tune everything

October 15, 2009

KURT: People LOF Auto-Tune, ja? Dey Auto-Tune T-PAIN... dey Auto-Tune de NEWS... dey Auto-Tune EFERYTINK...

KURT: So I began Auto-Tuning AUTO-TUNE. Den I Auto-Tune Auto-Tuned AUTO-TUNES. I vant to make songs SIMPLER, more PURE, more PERFECT.

JOEL: You want to make songs LIFELESS and COLD and- and UNFEELING!
KURT: JA! EXACTLY!

KURT: VOW, OK... so glad ve see eye-to-EYE on dis...
JOEL: A piece of my soul just died, sir.
BART: Yeah. That'll happen.

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Popularity rank 53 #290. Working on Auto-Tune

October 14, 2009

BART: Kurt and his engineers have been working on Auto-Tune.
KURT: I hate Auto-Tune.
JOEL: Me too!

KURT: Auto-Tune DESTROYS music...
BART: Yes.
JOEL: Yes!

KURT: It allows for TOO MUCH VARIABILITY!
BART: Yes!
JOEL: Wait-

KURT: My goal is to make music more homogeneous than Auto-Tune ever could!
BART: YES!!
JOEL: Damn it...

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Popularity rank 54 #75. Clone Project is a Success

November 17, 2005

DR. MERRILL: Now, sadly, none of the cloned bands have actually become good musicians.
JOEL: So, the project is a failure.

DR. MERRILL: Oh no! It's actually a success. We're friends with the band clones! We've proven that Ph.D.'s and rock stars aren't genetically predisposed to dislike one another.

JOEL: That was your hypothesis?
DR. CARY: Yes, we've submitted out findings to several bands along with invitations to hang out. No one's replied.

DR. MERRILL: Well, Mark McGrath said he'd get a beer with us.
DR. CARY: Yeah. We never sent him anything though.
JOEL: Look, I, uh... I better go.

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Popularity rank 55 #74. New Wave and New New Wave

November 16, 2005

JOEL: You know, 20 years after you guys made all these clones of "New Wave" bands, the whole "New New Wave" thing started. Quite a coincidence.

DR. CARY: Yes, it certainly is a coincidence and nothing more.
JOEL: Yep.

DR. CARY: The Duran Duran clones certainly didn't escape. And they certainly didn't move to Las Vegas and become the Killers.

JOEL: Wait, what?
DR. CARY: That certainly did not happen.

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