Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

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#5. Still raw.

January 11, 2005

FRANK: Bill. You're 47 years old. You can't put out a "zine".
BILL: Yes, I can, Frank.

BILL: This is for those middle-aged guys out there, like myself, who never gave up their punk fire. They need a voice, Frank. And I'm it.

FRANK: You own a $20 million bookbinding company, Bill.
BILL: And I'm still raw!

FRANK: Can you at least put it on the glossy paper?
BILL: Ha! Glossy paper would be selling out. Bill Dever doesn't sell out.

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#4. Slaves to the audience

January 4, 2005

JOHN: OK, post-practice band meeting, people!

JOHN: I'm a little upset about the setlist changes last night. Do we take requests? Yes. But we are not slaves to the audience. The Ambulance Men are artists.

RONI: It was a karaoke night, John. They pick the songs; we play them. That's how it works.

JOHN: SLAVE!!
DAN: I thought our "Sweet Caroline" had a real edge to it, by the way.
CHRISTINA: (silent)

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#3. Only way to buy tickets

December 28, 2004

CARLOS: Can't... can't we buy tickets on the band's site? Or... or through the venue?
STEPHEN: No. Look, I'm sorry, OK? This is the only way.

CARLOS: I just... I hate using them. I hate it.
STEPHEN: I know, I know, but we have no choice... just click "submit".

SOUND EFFECT: KRAKOW!

TICKETMASTER DEMON: Who dares summon the great and powerful Ticketmaster!

CARLOS: We... (sigh) we want White Stripes tickets.
TMDEMON: Then you will pay, mortal!!! First, a $6 service fee for every letter in your middle name!!!

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#2. No free drinks

December 21, 2004

JOHN: Joe, the bartender won't gimme a free drink, I thought--
JOEY: John... look, no, OK? You're lucky I even let you guys play....

JOHN: Man, Joe, look, I know we're local, but we're still a band. We deserve some perks. I mean, hell, we brought a bunch of fans to your club!

JOEY: You brought one person, dude... and she wasn't a fan.

JOHN: My mom is still is a fan, Joe!!
MOM: Johnny-honey, you need to jack up Daniel's vocals. I couldn't hear him for poop.

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#1. Emo

December 14, 2004

JOHN: We are what kids like, Joey. We're exactly wh-... well. Hold on.

JOHN: Guys, are we an "emo" band? You know... "emotional"?
DAN: Umm....
CHRISTINA: Hmm.

CHRISTINA: Um.... W-well... I cried during "Life as a House".

JOHN: We're emo, Joey. Wicked emo. Hella emo...
DAN: Is Kevin Kline good in that?
CHRISTINA: Christina: Yeah. Yeah, he is.

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The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 comics: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

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