Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

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#10. Getting in the right bin

February 15, 2005

JOHN: Whoa whoa whoa.... Terry! How come our EPs are stocked in the "Local Music" section?
TERRY: Because you are a local band, John.

JOHN: No no no, Terry: we are a band, plain and simple! You move every single one of our EPs to "Rock/Pop" right now, man!!!
TERRY: OK! Fine, fine....

TERRY: There. Happy?

JOHN: "Misc. A"? You filed us in "Misc. A"? Why don't you just pick up that plastic tabbed divider and slit my throat, Terry!
TERRY: John... (sigh) I got displays to set up, man.

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#9. Watching your friends on VH1

February 8, 2005

RONI: Man. Hard to believe. Kevin Edo, our bassist just two years ago, started "Jumpstart Malady", the most successful rock band in twenty years.
KEVIN EDO: (silent)

RONI: And here we are, still in Brooklyn, watching the "Behind the Music" about him. About Kevin Edo. So weird.
DAN: Shh! It's back on!

VH1 NARRATOR: "For several years before forming 'Malady', Edo toiled in several small unsuccessful N.Y. bands..."

DAN: Oh my God, John, get in here, they just mentioned us on TV!!
CHRISTINA: I... I gotta call m-my mom....

1 view Like

#8. Still holding on

February 1, 2005

CARLOS: Man. I really... I don't like this band anymore.

CARLOS: The music is derivative, the lyrics are trite, the singer puts zero emotion into anything. It's... it's just... pathetic.

STEPHEN: Well... why do you still listen to them?
CARLOS: (sigh) I dunno....

CARLOS: Sometimes I just think it's because their website has a really nice message board.
STEPHEN: Yeah... yeah, that off-topic forum is solid....

1 view Like

#7. Thinking outside the box

January 25, 2005

AGENT: OK, bad news, boys, the label was very down on the last tapes of the album you sent in.

AGENT: So, if this record is gonna happen, we need to really change it up, think outside the box.
GORDON CRANWICK: OK.
KEVIN EDO: Yeah.

GORDON CRANWICK: What if we made the whole CD a hidden track!
KEVIN EDO: Ooo, yeah! So, like, there's just 40 minutes of silence... and then the album!

AGENT: OK... everybody back in the box....
GORDON CRANWICK: We could re-record all the guitar solos with pan flutes!
KEVIN EDO: Pan flutes! Yes! Yes!
ROCCO: (silent)

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#6. The honest DJ

January 18, 2005

BARRY: We're coming into the top of the hour here at WHNT. And up next, we have the same 20 songs we played this morning....

BARRY: And which were played at the other 100 stations that are owned by the same conglomerate that owns us....

BARRY: In fact, you could burn a CD of these 20 songs and play it on "shuffle", and you'd accurately reflect our programming.

BARRY: But then you're miss me.... I'm Barry, the Honest DJ, back after this....
STEPHEN: Give 'em hell, Barry....

1 view Like

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