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Bassist Wanted

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Bassist Wanted

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Bassist Wanted
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Character

Kevin the jerk popstar

75 comics feature this characterNewest firstMost popularOldest first

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Popularity rank 31 #225. Why the fans showed up

March 27, 2009

TONY KING THE AGENT: Gordon, you should know-
GORDON CRANWICK: That was great to do a SOLO SET! My fans really SHOWED UP, too!
TONY KING THE AGENT: Yeah, Gordon, but-
GORDON CRANWICK: People know I'm not just Kevin Edo's backing band! They RESPECT ME!
TONY KING THE AGENT: GORDON!
TONY KING THE AGENT: I... had to promise Kevin would do an autograph line to get fans to show up.
KEVIN EDO: Hello Gordon.
TONY KING THE AGENT: I HAD to, man! If I send tweets without Kevin's name, PEOPLE UNSUBSCRIBE!
KEVIN EDO: Maybe I'll play some of my solo stuff first to sorta CLEANSE THEIR PALETTES...

1 view ♥Like

Popularity rank 32 #219. Gordon’s solo shows

March 18, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: I wanna get back to my INDIE ROOTS. Play some SOLO shows. INTIMATE: just ME and my GUITAR.
KEVIN EDO: And your ASSISTANT.
GORDON CRANWICK: FINE. Still... INTIMATE: just ME, my GUITAR and my ASSISTANT.
KEVIN EDO: And your SOUND guy, VIDEOGRAPHER and STYLIST.
GORDON CRANWICK: Fine: ME, my GUITAR, my ASSISTANT, my SOUND guy, my-
KEVIN EDO: And your NUTRITIONIST, SECURITY detail, PETS, pet WRANGLERS...
GORDON CRANWICK: INTIMACY is not defined by a, uh, a NUMBER, Kevin!
KEVIN EDO: Good, cos I ballpark you at about 35 or 40 now. NOT including craft services.

1 view ♥Like

Popularity rank 33 #210. Teaching a rock star to Twitter

February 13, 2009

TONY THE AGENT: So you just text or IM your updates to your Twitter account, and fans follow it so they can experience your day-to-day life.
TONY THE AGENT: I've been running it, but I think you should take it over now.
TONY THE AGENT: Seems easy enough... Oh SHIT. This kid... I KNOW this kid.
TONY THE AGENT: Christ, how'm I supposed to tell this kid I screwed his mom backstage at our show in Billings?
TONY THE AGENT: Well, you use the @ symbol, and then his username...
TONY THE AGENT: Oh, OK. This IS easy...

1 view ♥Like

Popularity rank 34 #208. Lowering ticket prices

February 11, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: Lower ticket prices DEVALUE us! I don't care what TAYLOR SWIFT is doing!
PETER WELD: It'll sell more tickets AND make us look charitable.
KEVIN EDO: Seems like a win/win, Gordon.
GORDON CRANWICK: It's a slippery SLOPE, Kevin!
PETER WELD: Now... point #2, our CD prices...
GORDON CRANWICK: Oh, NO WAY, Peter! I will not be BANISHED to the GHETTO of the BARGAIN BIN!!
PETER WELD: Look, it's another win/win...
GORDON CRANWICK: I will DIE I am BOUGHT and SOLD at the "NICE PRICE"!
PETER WELD: We'll make more money AND still be respected! Ask Incubus!

1 view ♥Like

Popularity rank 35 #206. The fat thing

February 4, 2009

KEVIN EDO: What statement would I even MAKE?
ANTHONY THE AGENT: Well, Lachey sorta condemned the press for covering the fat thing at ALL, and you were involved with her, TOO, so...
KEVIN EDO: Yeah, but she DOES look fat, OK, Tony? No. No statement. Jessica's fat, Britney's batshit and Kirsten Dunst's teeth look like Ground Zero wreckage. And this is all news to NO ONE.
SOUND: click slurp
ANTHONY THE AGENT: Mark? Quote Kevin as saying, "It's just more of her to love." Oh, he'd love to be on Extra! "Every Morning" he'll come on your show! Ha ha, OK...

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Keep reading

Most popular comics…

  • 1 JOHN: It's like, she was such a huge part of my life, so it's not just like my girlfriend left me, but my whole life.

    After the breakup

    2 1 Apr 5, ’05

  • 2 SUBWAY WORKER: Sir, I asked if you want the meal or just the sandwich.
BRETT: I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW.

    No James Blunt at the Subway

    1 3 Aug 5, ’06

  • 3 DAN: So let's say I have this cute young guitar student... she's not even THAT young... is it... I mean... is it cool for a teacher to ask out a student?

    Teacher/student

    0 6 May 12, ’08

  • 4 SCRAPPER: Get your manager. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS arts and crafts.
JOHN: I GET art, lady. I AM an artist.

    I am an artist

    0 4 Mar 13, ’10

  • 5 PETER: Well, for what it's worth, I think adopting that hot 19-year-old orphan was, though CREEPY, sort of NOBLE.

    Creepy but noble

    0 3 Apr 30, ’10

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

Get the PDF→

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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