Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Storyline

Escaping James Blunt

14 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#147. No James Blunt in the deep sea

August 23, 2006

BRETT: And we're totally removed from all civilization?
MANCUSO: Son, we're 300m below. Nothin' down here but... the sounds of the sea.

(The sub's light finds a whale.)

BRETT: That whale is... is singing "You're Beautiful".
MANCUSO: No, son... he's singing the mating call of the Southern Right Whale.

BRETT: Permissions to harpoon the bastard, sir.
MANCUSO: This is a scientific vessel, son. Only things we shoot are grant auditors.

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#149. No James Blunt in the afterlife

August 28, 2006

BRETT: Oh my God. I'm...
NYMPHS: Yes, Brett. You're dead.
NYMPHS: You liked music when you were alive, yes?

BRETT: I did, yes.
NYMPHS: Well, we're your choir.
NYMPHS: We'll be serenading you for the rest of eternity.

NYMPHS: (singing) You're beautiful... you're--
BRETT: AUGH! Why am I hearing James Blunt in Heaven?!
NYMPHS: Who said anything about Heaven?

BRETT: AUGH!
NYMPHS: In Heaven, we'd be naked. Here, we'll be tantalizingly close to naked and always just out of reach.
NYMPHS: Like the women in Maxim.

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#150. James Blunt near death recovery

August 30, 2006

BRETT: Greg! My God! I'm alive! Greg, man, I... I've been to hell and back, man...
GREG: Wow, like Meatloaf.

BRETT: There were these scantily clad nymphs... they were singing "You're Beautiful" to me over and over for all eternity.
GREG: So you finally heard it.

BRETT: I did.
GREG: What'd you think?

BRETT: You know, it was... harmless, hooky pop.
GREG: Hey, so... are we talking wood nymphs or water nymphs?

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#151. Meeting James Blunt in the elevator

September 1, 2006

BRETT: Hey... hey, you're James Blunt. You write harmless, hooky pop songs, including the annoyingly ubiquitous "You're Beautiful".
JAMES BLUNT: Yeah.

SOUND EFFECT: Huge cathartic PUNCH!

BRETT: How about THAT for a hook?! Huh? You flaccid whiny little banshee... how... ABOUT... THAT?!

BRETT: NOW... what floor d'you want?
JAMES BLUNT: Fi-- (cough) Five, please.

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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