Bassist Wanted

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Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

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#366. This isn’t a CD

April 19, 2010

JAMES: This isn't a CD. It's a bunch of construction paper and GLITTER.
JOHN: Uh, NO, it's a SCRAPBOOK and it's work of ART.

JAMES: We didn't order a SCRAPBOOK. We paid you to reproduce our CD.
JOHN: Oh, no, I destroyed your CD.

JAMES: That was our MASTER!
JOHN: It was GARBAGE. THIS captures the essence of your band.

JAMES: THIS is our album cover surrounded by pictures of a baby in a LOBSTER costume!
JOHN: It's... SO much more... Did you even READ the puffy paint?

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#365. Legal divorce

April 16, 2010

KEVIN: Anthony? Where's SHUKRI?
ANTHONY: I just heard from her agent. She's legally divorcing you as a parent. Also, she's screwing Robert Pattinson.

KEVIN: Whoa. So my adopted African daughter/lover left me for the guy from Twilight.
ANTHONY: It's a tale as old as time.

KEVIN: Hey, did you ever find out for me how her parents died?
ANTHONY: Yes. They were beheaded during a military coup she initiated.

KEVIN: (sigh) I'm gonna miss her.
ANTHONY: She's quite a woman.

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#364. Changing the order

April 14, 2010

DAN: John, you can't change people's orders, dude.
JOHN: They'll appreciate the changes when it's done.

DAN: But... the customer is always right.
JOHN: Screw that. My idea is BETTER.

JOHN: I change what I want, when I want, if it'll improve the piece. I run my life like I run our band.
DAN: Yeah...

DAN: ...our band's not very SUCCESSFUL though.
JOHN: The new rule is: the customer is NOT always right, and is usually an IDIOT.

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#363. Shukri meets the agent

April 12, 2010

KEVIN: Anthony, this is Shukri, my newly adopted African orphan daughter/lover.
ANTHONY: I know Shukri. Took a meeting with her on Monday.

KEVIN: You met with my AGENT before you met ME?
SHUKRI: Yes.

KEVIN: So, what? Are you REPPING her now?
ANTHONY: Oh no no...

ANTHONY: She went with William Morris.
SHUKRI: They have a stronger orphan division.

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#362. Making the CD at Kinko’s

April 9, 2010

JAMES: Hi, we need this CD reproduced with this as the cover.
JOHN: I'm in a band TOO, y'know.

JAMES: Oh... cool. So... what kind of turnaround time we lookin' at?
JOHN: SCREW YOU. You think you're BETTER than me?

JAMES: Um... no.
JOHN: GOOD. Because you're NOT. You've got ZERO talent compared to me.

JAMES: Is this, like, the "hard sell"?
JOHN: Now. Can I interest you in adding toner to your order?
JOEL: No, I think it's the "weird sell".

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