Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Roni the jaded guitarist

66 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 31 #230. What’s that called?

April 9, 2009

COREY BROWN: Hey, you sounded great up there. What was that called?

RONI: Well, my guitar solo used a scale called the Hungarian Minor (or Harmonic Minor #4). It has a large number of half steps and a slightly ambiguous tonal center.

COREY BROWN: I just sort of meant, "What's the name of the song?"
RONI: Oh.

RONI: I have no idea.

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Popularity rank 32 #218. Under the table

March 10, 2009

DAN: I don't get why we had to incorporate the band. Why pay taxes at ALL?
RONI: You don't cut corners on stuff like this, Dan. There're RULES for a REASON.

DAN: But If we ever get money from a gig, it's all UNDER THE TABLE anyway... Why declare it? Who CARES? Who's the VICTIM?

A pause.

DAN: Roni, you're looking at me like I stabbed a pregnant woman.
RONI: THE VICTIMS ARE THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS, DANIEL!!!

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Popularity rank 33 #214. Roni’s annual review

March 4, 2009

JOHN: OK, NAME: Roni Videtta... official TITLE: lead guitarist...
RONI: John, I'm not doing an annual review. We're not a real company.

JOHN: So we'll be evaluating you in several categories, OK?
RONI: We just made the band a corporation to save money on taxes.

JOHN: First: "TECHNICAL PROFICIENCY". I have you down for a 4 out of 5.
RONI: I put up with enough stuff like this at my day job, so-

RONI: I would argue I'm at LEAST a 4.5.
JOHN: Next up... "SHOWING CLEAVAGE AT SHOWS", an area you could really improve in...

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Popularity rank 34 #213. Calling human resources

March 3, 2009

SCOTT THE LAWYER: ...and then sign here.
RONI: OK.
SCOTT THE LAWYER: OK... Your band is now incorporated.

JOHN: I CALL HUMAN RESOURCES!

RONI: No, there's no "calling" and there's no human-
JOHN: Standard shotgun rules, Roni. Your lawyer here can back me up.

JOHN: Now, first thing I'd like to do is broach the subject of annual reviews.
RONI: Can you un-notarize this?
SCOTT THE LAWYER: No.

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Popularity rank 35 #212. Incorporating the band

March 2, 2009

RONI: My cousin says if we incorporate the band, we'll save money on taxes we pay on band revenue.
DAN: Whoa, cool!

RONI: Now, we could be something called a Limited Liability Corporation, or we could be something called an S-corporation.
DAN: Ooo...

RONI: An LLC would provide us with more legal protection while an S-Corporation-
DAN: -sounds, like, 20 times more badass! Let's do that one!

RONI: Well, Dan, let's not just-
DAN: Baaand, In-corr-poraaaa-aaated! B! A! N! D!
CHRISTINA: We have revenue?
JOHN: (shrugs)

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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