Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Kevin the jerk popstar

75 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 61 #315. Returning the favor

November 25, 2009

KEVIN: I'm here to return the favor and screw YOU, Bart. Listen to our hit song, "Spiral Away"...
MUSIC: Spiral awaaaaaaaay, I lost myself, I fell until I couldn't fall...

KEVIN: And listen to our first album, Mega-Tuned to one note per song...
MEGA-TUNE: Spiral. Away. I. Lost. Myself. I. Fell. Until. I. Couldn't. Fall.

BART: They... sound the SAME.
KEVIN: YEAH... That's RIGHT...

KEVIN: MY MUSIC IS DERIVATIVE OF ITSELF!!
BART: Holy GOATS...

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Popularity rank 62 #314. Kevin drops in to Hancock

November 23, 2009

BART: KEVIN! How's my favorite pop star doing?
KEVIN: I'LL tell you how I'm doing, Bart.... I'm getting SCREWED by this MEGA-TUNE catshit.

KEVIN: And since it is YOUR fault, I'm now going to slow roast YOUR dick, poach YOUR nuts, and serve it to YOU with a fucking chorizo polenta on the SIDE!!

KEVIN: THAT'S how I'm DOING!!

BART: And how's Linda?
KEVIN: LINDA IS FINE!!

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Popularity rank 63 #311. Malady hears about Mega-Tune

November 18, 2009

GORDON: Kevin! I have some really bad, really WEIRD, news!
KEVIN: Not now, Gordon. I'm playing Brutal Legend with Jason Mraz.

GORDON: The label developed this process called Mega-Tune. It bastardizes our songs to these commercially-acceptable one-note versions!
KEVIN: OK...

GORDON: Kevin! Our songs... our life's work.... they're homogenizing it. They're massacring it!!!
KEVIN: Let's not overreact, OK? I'm sure the label has its reasons.

GORDON: On a side note, due to this process, we'll be losing a tiny amount of royalty money.
KEVIN: We must STOP this, Gordon! We WILL stop this! Though the heavens fall!

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Popularity rank 64 #280. Ted’s hate song

September 19, 2009

TED: Dad. You ruined my life. Here. It's a song I wrote about how much I hate you.
KEVIN: Didn't know you wrote music, Ted.

KEVIN: This is pretty good... Hey... How'd you like to OPEN for me sometime?
TED: REALLY?

TED: You're asking the son of the world's most popular musician to go on tour as his father's opening act?
SOUND: cha ching cha ching cha ching

TED: What was THAT?
KEVIN: Oh, that's just my agent. Hey Anth.
TONY: Hey guys...

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Popularity rank 65 #279. Trying to relate

September 18, 2009

KEVIN: Look, Ted, I KNOW I'm a piece of SHIT, OK? And I KNOW you think my band is... pop TRASH. But I made this game because...

KEVIN: I was just trying to do something to RELATE to you.
TED: You never... you never TALKED like that to me before, dad.

TED: It's really... TOUCHING.
KEVIN: (sniff) Well, THANKS...

TED: It reminds me of a GRIZZLY BEAR song I like...
KEVIN: AUGH! Ted! FUCK GRIZZLY BEAR! They're just RADIOHEAD with a copy of the NEW YORKER shoved up their ass!

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

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