Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

John the egomaniac singer

106 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 96 #4. Slaves to the audience

January 4, 2005

JOHN: OK, post-practice band meeting, people!

JOHN: I'm a little upset about the setlist changes last night. Do we take requests? Yes. But we are not slaves to the audience. The Ambulance Men are artists.

RONI: It was a karaoke night, John. They pick the songs; we play them. That's how it works.

JOHN: SLAVE!!
DAN: I thought our "Sweet Caroline" had a real edge to it, by the way.
CHRISTINA: (silent)

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Popularity rank 97 #2. No free drinks

December 21, 2004

JOHN: Joe, the bartender won't gimme a free drink, I thought--
JOEY: John... look, no, OK? You're lucky I even let you guys play....

JOHN: Man, Joe, look, I know we're local, but we're still a band. We deserve some perks. I mean, hell, we brought a bunch of fans to your club!

JOEY: You brought one person, dude... and she wasn't a fan.

JOHN: My mom is still is a fan, Joe!!
MOM: Johnny-honey, you need to jack up Daniel's vocals. I couldn't hear him for poop.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 98 #1. Emo

December 14, 2004

JOHN: We are what kids like, Joey. We're exactly wh-... well. Hold on.

JOHN: Guys, are we an "emo" band? You know... "emotional"?
DAN: Umm....
CHRISTINA: Hmm.

CHRISTINA: Um.... W-well... I cried during "Life as a House".

JOHN: We're emo, Joey. Wicked emo. Hella emo...
DAN: Is Kevin Kline good in that?
CHRISTINA: Christina: Yeah. Yeah, he is.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 99 #368. You’re fired

April 23, 2010

KINKO'S BOSS: OK, Romero, you get your wish. You're fired.
JOHN: You can't fire me! I fire me!

JOHN: My dad's settlement money came through, so FUCK THIS DAYJOB!

JOHN: I'm going back to getting my money the way an artist SHOULD!

KINKO'S BOSS:: By falling ass-backwards into it via luck and/or family?
JOHN: It's how this country was built!

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Popularity rank 100 #366. This isn’t a CD

April 19, 2010

JAMES: This isn't a CD. It's a bunch of construction paper and GLITTER.
JOHN: Uh, NO, it's a SCRAPBOOK and it's work of ART.

JAMES: We didn't order a SCRAPBOOK. We paid you to reproduce our CD.
JOHN: Oh, no, I destroyed your CD.

JAMES: That was our MASTER!
JOHN: It was GARBAGE. THIS captures the essence of your band.

JAMES: THIS is our album cover surrounded by pictures of a baby in a LOBSTER costume!
JOHN: It's... SO much more... Did you even READ the puffy paint?

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

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Also by Porter Mason

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