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Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted
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Topic

Comics about music executives

Often featuring…

  • Bart
  • Joel
  • Kurt von Einfache

Covered in these storylines…

  • Optimizing Hit Songs
  • Cloning Famous Bands

26 comics about this topicNewest firstMost popularOldest first

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Popularity rank 16 #304. Consumers don’t like decisions

November 4, 2009

TESTER: So which version of the song do you like more?
GREG: I DUNNO...
BART: Consumers don't LIKE decisions, Joel. They want us to TELL them what's right. THEY NEED US.
JOEL: You talk like they're HELPLESS. They aren't scared little CHILDREN, sir.
GREG: Um... I... I have to go potty.
BART: AREN'T they, Joel? AREN'T they?
TESTER: Sir, put that DOWN. Sir... SIR, get that OUT of your mouth! Drop it... DROP it!

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Popularity rank 17 #303. Megatuning “Viva La Vida”

November 3, 2009

TESTER: Greg, we're going to play two versions of a song, and we want to know which one you like better, OK?
GREG: OK.
COLDPLAY: For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name, Never an honest word, but that was when I ruled the world
MEGA-TUNE: Overwrought.
GREG: Hmm. The second one was definitely... SHORTER...
BART: Write down that subject finds Mega-Tuned version is "PEPPY" and "FUN".

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Popularity rank 18 #302. Sixth sense for pop

November 2, 2009

JOEL: His sense of pop music is unCANNY. When asked to list songs he liked, he recited Clear Channel's ENTIRE Adult Album Alternative playlist.
JOEL: We ask him his favorite song every five minutes, and he's somehow able to always list the current top single on iTunes at that EXACT moment.
TESTER: What about now?
GREG: "Fireflies" by Owl City... no, wait, NO... actually it's "Replay" by Iyaz.
BART: FAScinating...
GREG: Wait, NOW it's the Glee cast version of "Alone". NO... "Take a Bow"! NO!! "ALONE"!!!

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Popularity rank 19 #299. Getting focus groupers

October 30, 2009

JOEL: I've never run a focus group, sir. How do we get participants?
BART: The American way, Joel. With market forces.
BART: We bribe them. Vouchers, gift certificates, free food...
JOEL: Doesn't that result in overly positive opinions?
BART: Exactly!
GREG: Hi, I heard something about a Frostie coupon?
BART: Yes sir! Just sign this release form without reading it.
GREG: No PROBLEM. Oooo, free pens!!

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Popularity rank 20 #297. Memorable

October 28, 2009

JOEL: Well, sir, screwing songwriters aside... if we reduce songs to a single word and note, won't consumers... not... like that?
BART: On the contrary, studies show consumers favor songs with simple, memorable melodies and lyrics.
MEGA-TUNE: FELLATIO!
BART: And you can't get simpler or more memorable than that, Joel!
KURT: Dat vas Little Vayne. "Lollipop".

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Keep reading

Most popular comics…

  • 1 JOHN: It's like, she was such a huge part of my life, so it's not just like my girlfriend left me, but my whole life.

    After the breakup

    2 1 Apr 5, ’05

  • 2 SUBWAY WORKER: Sir, I asked if you want the meal or just the sandwich.
BRETT: I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW.

    No James Blunt at the Subway

    1 2 Aug 5, ’06

  • 3 PETER: Well, for what it's worth, I think adopting that hot 19-year-old orphan was, though CREEPY, sort of NOBLE.

    Creepy but noble

    0 3 Apr 30, ’10

  • 4 DAN: C'mon, John. We gotta get to rehearsal.
JOHN: Man, EFF rehearsal... I'm working on a cover for our E.P.

    Scrapbooked EP cover

    0 3 Mar 16, ’10

  • 5 SCRAPPER: Get your manager. I need someone who UNDERSTANDS arts and crafts.
JOHN: I GET art, lady. I AM an artist.

    I am an artist

    0 3 Mar 13, ’10

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

Get the PDF→

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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Bassist Wanted

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