Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Smita the mp3 blogger

12 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #245. The Cloud’s favorite band

August 13, 2009

BRETT: Does your "cloud boyfriend" like music?
THE CLOUD: 65.3% of males matching Smita's most desired demographic list "Moby Grape" as a favorite band.

THE CLOUD: So Moby Grape is MY favorite band.
BRETT: Ugh... Can't you see how PHONY that is?

BRETT: He just morphs to whatever you want!
SMITA: Yes. He is... a SYCOPHANT.

SMITA: But he's very transparent about the process...
THE CLOUD: My ass-kissing is completely open source.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 7 #242. Optimized date schedule

July 30, 2009

BRETT: What're you and "THE CLOUD" doing tonight?
THE CLOUD: 6:04 - We will eat gnocchi and listen to ELO. 6:51 - I'll console her about a conflict at work.

THE CLOUD: 7:02 - I'll brush the hair from her face... and smile. 7:37 - We'll begin FOREPLAY.
SMITA: I thought we were watching FIREFLY tonight.

THE CLOUD: Yes, welll... the intercourse I have planned will be very... WHEDONESQUE.

BRETT: So you'll have witty dirty talk, sing when you orgasm and overanalyze it all later on Internet forums?
SMITA: OOO!! No spoilers!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 8 #241. Contextual boyfriend

July 29, 2009

SMITA: THE CLOUD is a manifestation of all my Internet purchases, searches, Tweets and emails. He's a CONTEXTUAL BOYFRIEND. He's what I want before I want it.

THE CLOUD: I'm constantly absorbing information and refining my personality to better suit Smita. Right, honeybun?
SMITA: "Honeybun"? Blech... BURY!

THE CLOUD: PLEASE WAIT... 68%... Interpreting data... Processing results... Reticulating splines...

THE CLOUD: Right, SWEETIE PIE?
SMITA: Aw, I AM your sweetie pie!! LIKE! LIKE!
BRETT: "Reticulating splines"?

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Popularity rank 9 #240. Dating the Cloud

July 28, 2009

SMITA: It's like you don't even know me anymore. You used to keep up with what music I liked and RECOMMEND things to me.

SMITA: I bet PANDORA knows me better than YOU these days. Or the iTunes GENIUS BUTTON! And AMAZON.COM knows me MUCH better than you!

SMITA: So I'm leaving you, Brett. I'm leaving you for the Internet.
BRETT: WHAT?

SMITA: Meet my new boyfriend, THE CLOUD.
BRETT: My... my God...
THE CLOUD: Just got DUMPED? Try Match.com!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 10 #239. Birthday mix

July 10, 2009

SMITA: This mix you made for my birthday has "BLUEBERRY BOAT" on it.
BRETT: Oh, of course, sweetie! I'll never forget when we met at that concert.

BRETT: You were checking Brooklyn Vegan on your Treo. Well... TRYING to! Ha! Wow... remember TREOS?
SMITA: Brett! I HATE the Fiery Furnaces now!

SMITA: I'm totally out of my Bush-era "ESCAPIST WHIMSY" phase. Do you... do you even FOLLOW my FriendFeed?
BRETT: No, I... follow your TUMBLR.

BRETT: Isn't it... pretty much... the SAME?
SMITA: Uh... WOW. I... I think we need to talk...

1 view Like

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Most popular comics…

The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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