Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Roni the jaded guitarist

66 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 61 #178. My friend wants a guitar

October 13, 2008

RONI: My FRIEND here is in the market for a GUITAR. He wants a Fender Standard STRAT. That's IT. DON'T try an UPSELL.
GUITARPLANET CLERK: OK... is your friend all right?

RONI: My FRIEND is FINE. And he wants the brown SUNBURST model. Which he KNOWS retails at $430, so don't try and SCREW him.

GUITARPLANET CLERK: No problem. Lemme grab one, and we can ring you guys up.

RONI: My FRIEND remains WARY of this transaction!
DAN: What's HAPPENING? Can I look yet? I-is he playing hardball?! Tell him I'll pay $1000! $1500!

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Popularity rank 62 #177. In control

October 9, 2008

RONI: Here comes the clerk. You know what you want. You won't be upsold. You won't show your hand. You... are in CONTROL.
DAN: YES. OK.

GUITARPLANET CLERK: Hey, you guys find-
DAN: HERE! MY CREDIT CARD HAS A $5,000 LIMIT! TAKE IT!

A pause.

RONI: You... are no longer in control.

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Popularity rank 63 #176. Won’t be distracted

October 6, 2008

RONI: OK, you're here to buy a Fender Standard Strat. NOTHING ELSE. You're on a budget. You won't be upsold or DISTRACTED.
DAN: RIGHT!

DAN: Ooo, that one in the window's nice though... Wonder how much...

RONI: Which one?
DAN: That big, blue GLOWING one...

RONI: That's a NEON SIGN, Dan! Keep it together, man!!
DAN: Still... wouldn't hurt to ASK...

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Popularity rank 64 #159. Our Own Band Contest

January 9, 2007

JOHN: Maybe we should run our own band contest. We could rig it so we could win.
DAN: Yeah!

RONI: Maybe we should practice more often so we sound better, and focus on the playing and songwriting and not on meaningless contests.
DAN: Yeah.

A pause.

JOHN: Ooo, we could get a cool trophy engraved with our names on it!
RONI: (sigh)
DAN: Ooo, yeah!

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Popularity rank 65 #155. Which Song Will We Play?

November 6, 2006

JOHN: We can play ONE song in this contest. I say we do "Cathartic Target Practice".
RONI: "C.T.P." is not a SONG, John. It's a mass of unrelated words and notes.

JOHN: It's... it's a GOOD song!
DAN: How about that song that went so well last weekend?
RONI: (sigh) No, Dan.

DAN: What? Why not?
RONI: Because we're not playing a WEDDING this week, Dan.

RONI: I don't think this'll be a "Chicken Dance" kinda crowd.
DAN: Well, at least CONSIDER it....
JOHN: You all just... don't understand microtones.
CHRISTINA: (turns page)

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

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Also by Porter Mason

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