Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Peter the clueless popstar

Peter Weld drums for Jumpstart Malady, when he can find his sticks. He won’t play Boston, because of a Thai food order.

19 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #340. Orphans in Africa

January 25, 2010

PETER: Kevin, what about this charity? They find homes for orphans in Africa.
KEVIN: Dude, I have enough kids of my OWN I don't want, man. No way...

PETER: Whoa... check out the tits on that villager chick in the background.
KEVIN: Shit. Can I adopt HER?

KEVIN: Wait... seriously, can I? I mean, is that too creepy or gross or like... human-slavery-y?
PETER: No, dude, it is NOT.

PETER: I mean, it IS totally creepy and gross, but it's totally NOT human slavery.
KEVIN: Good enough! Let's call my agent...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 7 #329. Our Behind the Music is on

December 29, 2009

KEVIN: Turn on VH1! Our BEHIND THE MUSIC is on!
PETER: Shit, I can't, dude. I'm at the airport.

KEVIN: And it's right at the best part. You just hit rock bottom...
PETER: Aw, man…

KEVIN: Whatever happened to that junkie anyway?
PETER: SKEE-FI! I just got a Christmas card from him.

PETER: He's in Houston. He's well.
KEVIN: Here's that picture of him stabbing you! Ha! (sigh) ... What a FUN weekend that was…

1 view Like

Popularity rank 8 #208. Lowering ticket prices

February 11, 2009

GORDON CRANWICK: Lower ticket prices DEVALUE us! I don't care what TAYLOR SWIFT is doing!
PETER WELD: It'll sell more tickets AND make us look charitable.

KEVIN EDO: Seems like a win/win, Gordon.
GORDON CRANWICK: It's a slippery SLOPE, Kevin!
PETER WELD: Now... point #2, our CD prices...

GORDON CRANWICK: Oh, NO WAY, Peter! I will not be BANISHED to the GHETTO of the BARGAIN BIN!!
PETER WELD: Look, it's another win/win...

GORDON CRANWICK: I will DIE I am BOUGHT and SOLD at the "NICE PRICE"!
PETER WELD: We'll make more money AND still be respected! Ask Incubus!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 9 #199. Inauguration gig

January 19, 2009

KEVIN EDO: No, we WANT an inauguration gig! I just did that stupid Huckabee fundraiser to meet CHUCK NORRIS!
ANTHONY THE AGENT: Jesus, OK! I'll make a call...

KEVIN EDO: Who cares who I "supported" anyway? We're big! Obama's big! He'd WANT us there tomorrow! I mean, right?
PETER WELD: Yeah...

KEVIN EDO: Like I bet Lincoln wanted, like... who was big back then?
PETER WELD: During Lincoln? I dunno...
ANTHONY THE AGENT: No, fuck YOU, Rahm!

ANTHONY THE AGENT: OK, gig's on.
PETER WELD: Elvis Costello?
KEVIN EDO: No, he's NEVER been big... And I think he fought for the British, man.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 10 #126. Jumpstart Malady leaves Chicago

March 31, 2006

AGENT: OK, first show went well... sold-out house, and gordon only quit ONCE, heh, right, guys?

AGENT: Oh, we're all set up in Cleveland. We're at the Four Seasons. And I confirmed Letterman in April... Guys? Why are we not talking?

AGENT: Jesus, is this still about this morning? There was nothing I could do!
PETER WELD: Bull... SHIT.

AGENT: They stop serving breakfast at 10:30! It's just the rule!
PETER WELD: You find me a McGriddle, Anth, or I fund us a new manager!
GORDON CRANWICK: I... I quit.
KEVIN EDO: Shut up, Gordon.

1 view Like

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

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