Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Character

Kurt von Einfache the minimalist engineer

Kurt von Einfache is a minimalist engineer at Hancock Records. His Mega-Tune reduces any song to one note and one word.

16 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #313. The Holy Grail

November 20, 2009

KURT: GRAPEFRUIT! PHOSPHORESCENCE! CARDIGAN! There. I just wrote three new one-note songs.
BART: This is the life, eh Joel?

BART: We've found the HOLY GRAIL...

BART: We figured out how the music industry can make MONEY again...

BART: All we had to do was remove the MUSICIANS.

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Popularity rank 7 #312. Writing new one-note songs

November 19, 2009

MEGA-TUNE: Motherlover.
KURT: Und dat's the Mega-Tune version of "Ave Maria".

BART: The great thing about Mega-Tune is once consumers are trained to like it, we can stop using existing stuff and just create new one-note songs.

BART: Kurt, sing him the gem you wrote this morning.
KURT: OATMEAL!

KURT: I mean, you know, I'm still playing vit it.
JOEL: Haunting.
BART: Ooo. I like that. Did you just write that, Joel?

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Popularity rank 8 #310. Blink-182 Mega-Tuned

November 17, 2009

JOEL: Does every album devolve into a song when you Mega-Tune it?
KURT: No, but dey all reveal sometink about the artist. Fur example...

MEGA-TUNE: Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal. Nasal.

KURT: Dat's Mega-Tunes of the entire BLINK-182 catalog.

JOEL: Well... they're very... CONSISTENT.
KURT: Ja, und I STOPPED it... I mean, it goes on like dat fur HOURS.

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Popularity rank 9 #309. Abbey Road Mega-Tuned

November 16, 2009

KURT: Vhen de Mega-Tune simplifies albums to one note and word per song, it often reveals bizarre patterns.

KURT: Fur example, dis is all of ABBEY ROAD, back to back...

MEGA-TUNE: Come. My. Lady. You're. My. Pretty. Baby. I'll. Make. Your. Legs. Shake. You. Make. Me. Go. Crazy.

JOEL: That's... that's Crazy Town.
KURT: Ja. Ja, it IS crazytown.

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Popularity rank 10 #297. Memorable

October 28, 2009

JOEL: Well, sir, screwing songwriters aside... if we reduce songs to a single word and note, won't consumers... not... like that?

BART: On the contrary, studies show consumers favor songs with simple, memorable melodies and lyrics.

MEGA-TUNE: FELLATIO!

BART: And you can't get simpler or more memorable than that, Joel!
KURT: Dat vas Little Vayne. "Lollipop".

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All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours), the first Bassist Wanted book, open on an iPad

The first book, as a PDF

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours)

The first 150 strips: MySpace pages, going on tour, and that James Blunt song. Up for Best Book at the 2009 ECNY Awards. $10.

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Also by Porter Mason

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