Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

Bassist Wanted

Comics for musicians

John the egomaniac singer

106 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #104. ‘Sounds Like’ section on MySpace

February 15, 2006

RONI: You have to change the "Sounds Like" spot on our MySpace page.
JOHN: I stand by what I put.

RONI: It's bullshit! It's impossible to sound like Sigur Ros AND Rammstein.
JOHN: Well, I dunno... in my head, that's what we sound like.

RONI: Well, what sort of fucked up acoustics are in your head then?
JOHN: You would hear what I mean if we recorded on better equipment.

RONI: And where can one buy this magical equipment, John? Do unicorns sell it?
JOHN: Fine!! "Sounds like: every other shitty local band"! Happy?!

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Popularity rank 7 #100. MySpace friends list

February 9, 2006

RONI: She should be able to add her husband as a friend on our myspace page, John.
JOHN: No, look, we gotta keep our list looking hip and young.

RONI: And female and half-naked.
JOHN: Hey, I don't send friend requests, OK? All these people on here sought us out.

RONI: Really? So Brooke Burke and the Suicide Girls are big fans of all our shitty demos you posted?
JOHN: Maybe they are!

CHRISTINA: John, I'm not even a fan of those demos.
RONI: No, he's right, Christina! I bet they all get together and have naked listening parties!

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Popularity rank 8 #333. Get a job

January 10, 2010

RONI: This BLOWS. Because of some tax thing, I won't get any of my dad's SETTLEMENT MONEY this month.
CHAR: Good...

RONI: You can get a JOB like the rest of us...
JOHN: I HAVE a job, Roni. I'm frontman of this BAND.

RONI: You sit around all day and do NOTHING.
JOHN: No, I work on stuff for the BAND.

RONI: John, you spent most of Friday photoshopping NIPPLES onto ZOE SALDANA pictures.
JOHN: For potential ALBUM covers for the BAND!

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Popularity rank 9 #338. The scrapbooking menace

January 18, 2010

DAN: These scrapbookers think they're these creative GENIUSES, but they don't know how to use the EQUIPMENT, even though they need it to make their "art".

DAN: They make us do ALL the work, for something THEY take all the credit for, and they treat us like SHIT while they do it. It's... it's HORRIBLE, man.

DAN: They're like... a lead singer in a band.
JOHN: Like me in our band?

DAN: Well, like you, but like you if you weren't so BADASS...
JOHN: That DOES sound scary...

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Popularity rank 10 #234. Resolving the melody

June 8, 2009

RONI: No, John, you can't do that.

JOHN: Do what?

RONI: You ended your song before you resolved the melody!

RONI: You can't DO that!
JOHN: Why NOT?
RONI: You just CAN'T!!
JOHN: I CAN!!
RONI: No, you CAN'T!!!
JOHN: Says WHO?!

RONI: Says MUSIC!!!!
JOHN: I AM music!!!!
CHRISTINA: OK, let's... take a rehearsal break...

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The two Bassist Wanted paperbacks, All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk

Bassist Wanted, in print

300 Comics, Two Books

All Local Bands Suck (Except Ours) and Jingles Are the New Punk, with their PDFs. $25 for both, shipped by me.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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